I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all.

2011-08-24T20:29:00.002+08:00

i was told it's supposed to get easier with each passing day, but it sure doesn't feel that way.

"it's been awhile, and i must say i miss our friendship. i miss you, but what i really miss the most is not just you or us but how it all was."

2011-04-12T18:52:00.002+08:00

and as i lay on my back in bed last night, staring blankly into the dark space around me, i thought. 2 minutes later, i turned to my side into a fetal position, hugging kitty katty with all my might, and i found myself sobbing myself to sleep. i still dont know why i was crying. i'm not depressed, i'm not ungrateful. i guess i just needed to cry a little, since i haven't in a while.

crying it out is supposed to make you feel better. but i have never felt better after crying, about anything. i've simply felt worse.

2 days ago, my bb buzzed with an email from mummy. it was a photo of nanima. if i remember correctly, it's been close to 2 and a half years since nanima passed away. but that fateful day is still etched in my mind, clear as day. and that photo just brought it all back, i felt myself tear.

they say death is part and parcel of life. the people who say it obviously havent had experience with it themselves.

i miss you nanima, i still do. so very, very much.

2011-03-27T22:26:00.000+08:00

when you want something you can't have...

harden your heart husena.

2011-03-20T21:58:00.003+08:00

in my fairytale, everything's easy. in my fairytale, there are no mean people. in my fairytale, the people i love, love me back. in my fairytale, i'm not lonely.

my fairytale has a happy ending.

my life is not a fairytale.

2011-03-19T01:45:00.002+08:00

i don't let people in easily. i wish i did though.

really, it's so difficult to tell someone to be sensible when you aren't being too sensible yourself. and it's so difficult to be sensible coz most of the time the sensible thing is the right thing, and the right thing is always so damn difficult to do.

and this ramble is a result of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion.

i should sleep now.

2011-01-22T22:50:00.003+08:00

it always happens, when you think you know someone.

you really can't tell if a person really cares, or is just using you to get to someone else. and if you do happen to find out that it's the latter, well, it sucks. but you can't blame anyone, your fault for being so trusting/stupid. again.

sometimes, actually most days, i feel like digging myself a nice little hole and sitting in there forever. and other than my family, i don't think anyone else would realise or care.

everyone keeps telling me, you don't get to complain, at least you have friends. i don't really want to have a gazillion friends. i'd just like to have one friend i can tell everything i go through and feel, and don't get judged. a friend who doesn't just listen to my world, but shares his/her world with me too.

because really, i feel loneliest when i'm standing in the middle of the largest crowd.

2010-10-25T23:43:00.002+08:00

it is so difficult, so difficult, and it's always more difficult each time.

two weeks is way too short, the world is way too big, dubai is way too far.

life

is

not

fair.

i've been a bad sister.

2010-09-05T22:40:00.002+08:00

i don't adjust to changes that well. it's not that i don't try or want to, it's just that i take longer than most other people to adjust. maybe it has something to do with my tendency to slip into nostalgia and live in that happy past for a while.

school's now in full swing, and there're many things i need to adjust to, get used to. and taking a small glimpse and what's in store in the future, i see a few more changes i'll need to adjust to in the near future.

most of the changes have been pleasant, and i enjoy the company i have in school, school's bearable solely because of them. special shout out to nicole, huiyi, ding zhou and yan teck. some changes have been less easy to take. i behave like it doesnt affect me, because it's the easier thing to do. but it does, and sometimes i cry into my pillow before falling asleep, hoping that the next day, a brand new day, will have me thinking about the change less. and i do think about it less, but i havent stopped altogether either.

but i'll be okay, eventually. i always am.

2010-08-11T17:37:00.002+08:00

OMG I HATE CORS!

my schedule is all messed up and today just sucks so bad i wish i could i don't know scream real loud but i'm fasting so i guess that's not such a good idea. i feel so frustrated and annoyed and the anger is building up in my head i can't quite describe how or why and it's driving me freaking mad. cors is so rigid and annoying there's no way i can go about doing anything until the damn thing opens again and the wait is killing me and god do i not like NOT LIKE how things are going.

oh and it's only the second day of school. perfect. simply lovely.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2010-06-22T14:14:00.003+08:00

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower."

- Hans Christian Anderson

i don't like it when people feel sorry for themselves, but i always find myself feeling sorry for myself. and it disgusts me. but i'll get over it. i always do.

splatter

2010-05-28T14:49:00.001+08:00

you know, they say when you're feeling low and your heart is heavy, it's good to cry it out. apparently it'll make you feel better. but crying always makes me feel worse so i don't know how that works.

i've made a few revelations.

i'll start with the revelation i made while i was watching For One More Day on Hallmark. i watched it halfway and then switched it off because i got really really sick of watching that man feel sorry for himself because his mother died. yes, his mother died, he had a right to be sad. but for so many years? okay even all that is fine, his life, his choice. but seriously, just because you're depressed doesn't mean you have to drag the whole world down with you and depress them as well. i'm all into sharing your feelings when you're down, makes you feel better apparently. i'm always willing to listen to a friend who needs emotional support. but what i dislike is when the friend says this and this happened with so and so and i'm so depressed what should i do, and so you're asking for advice right? so when i give a suggestion, i honestly don't like it when the friend says oh no nothing can be done my life is over i'm dead dead dead. then why did you ask? all the negativity can be very depressing and really annoying. positive thoughts give you positive energy. so my point is, for god's sake, when things go wrong, try to be strong and positive. and if you can't, don't expect everyone around you to feel as depressed as you just because you are. besides, there're probably a gazillion people in the world with more problems than you, and if you were to switch problems with them, you'd wish you could get yours back.

my next revelation is that it is mostly better never to get your hopes up about anything. in other words, don't set any expectations, good or bad. that way, if something bad happens, you won't be completely devastated, and if something good happens, you'll be pleasantly surprised (:

of course i realise that both of these things are easier said than done, but not impossible to be done either.

any finally, i've realised that unlike most people, i don't really believe that there's always only one person in the world made for you. it could be that Allah wrote in only one person for you, but it could also be that Allah wrote in 2 or 3. and so, even if a relationship ends for whatever reason, it doesn't mean the person wasn't meant for you at all, it just means the person was meant for you, but only for that period of time in your life, not more. so when you move on and meet someone else, there's your second or third. or it could also be that Allah didn't write in anyone, then you're simply destined to be alone. but i must say that the luckiest people have to be those who have only one person written for them, one person they're meant to be with. they'll be spared from the heartache caused by the people they were meant to be with earlier when it all finally ends, and they'll also be spared from the misery caused by loneliness. they're the luckiest type of people.

i sometimes feel that my brain has somehow escaped from my skull and has splattered itself everywhere, explaining why my thoughts are usually all over the place, much like today.

i cried a little. but hey, that's an improvement from a lot right? (:

2010-05-25T19:08:00.002+08:00

Monica: Look, Joey feels really bad for what happened. He thinks you hate him. He wants to move to Vermont.
Ross: I don't hate him. It's just... You know what, I'll go talk to him. It's not his fault.
Monica: Thank you. He already asked me where he could exchange his dollars for Vermont money.

you gotta love Friends (:

that's a kill shot!

2010-04-23T09:49:00.001+08:00

date night was GREAT!! haha it's slightly dirty and kinda crude but it's still super funny (:

my watch strap broke ): the one that jiju gave me ): i'm upset ):

2010-04-19T19:40:00.002+08:00

you know what the best thing about alfie kulfi is? she never openly admits that she cares, but all her indirect gestures really warm my heart (: i love you kulfi, and even though you insist you don't like to be called kulfi, you're still my kulfi.

in other news, i read The Inheritance of Loss. best. book. ever!! god i don't even know where to start. at first i was like what in the world is this book talking about? wayyy too deep. but as i persevered on, gosh it is one wonderful read. i mean the way Kiran Desai has put the book together, woven different storylines so beautifully, it's sheer genius!!

and in other other news, ALIFIYA ZAKIR IS THE BEST PHOTOGRAPHER IN THE WORLD. i swear she makes such simple shots look so breathtaking!! i love you babe (:

and in other other other news, i just had my first driving lesson!! fun (: can't wait for more!

definitely dubai

2010-04-03T10:31:00.002+08:00

that's the tourism slogan for Dubai haha i just found out.

Dubai was AWESOME. here are the highlights:

- I GOT TO HANG OUT WITH BHEN FOR 17 DAYS (:
- i got to ride in Bhen's awesome new car (:
- i watched 5 movies in 17 days hahaha
- i got to see the gorgeous Burhani Masjid
- daddy came to surprise Bhen (:
- i got to eat so many things i don't get in Singapore! like cinnabons (: and baskin robbins (:
- i got to hang out with Masi haha and she says and does the most amusing things the whole day x)
- i went shooting, and i got to use a real gun with real ammunition! AWESOME.
- i got to see Bhen's office (:
- i got to argue with my Jiju everyday hahahaha
- i got to watch an air race! planes flying right in front of my face. AWESOME.

i miss Bhen so so so much ): and Dubai in general too. thank you mummy daddy, for sending me (: it's very true, my parents are as awesome as they get.

i've used the word awesome way too many times in this post (:

you want pictures, go to facebook haha lazy to upload again.

people

2010-03-07T11:35:00.002+08:00

Some people talk and talk
and never say a thing.
Some people look at you
and birds begin to sing.

Some people laugh and laugh
and yet you want to cry.
Some people touch your hand
and music fills the sky.

-Charlotte Zolotow

you're right jeryl haha i share way too many poems on my blog.

to grow up or not to grow up, that is not the question

2010-03-03T13:22:00.006+08:00

every year my birthday comes (duh) and i'm mostly excited that people will wish me and i will feel special and my family and friends will have celebrations for me and i will get lovely presents, and i'm grateful to everyone who made the day memorable, my family, my school friends, the masjid girls, the minahs and basically everyone who bothered to remember and wish me.

but i realise that i never once thought about the fact that every birthday passing means that i not only am growing up age-wise, but maturity-wise too. but the problem is i never felt like i was growing up, i always felt like a child.

my 19th birthday has finally changed that all, and i actually feel that i've grown up, maybe quickly and maybe slightly unwillingly, but i've grown up in a true sense. i've learnt the importance of having independance, and not just hoping that someone else will get everything done. the importance of thinking for myself, the importance of having tolerance and patience, the importance of calming someone else down even if you're feeling just as frustrated or tired as the person, and most importantly, the importance of having self-respect.

my 19th is an event i will never ever forget.

and as a side note, i love you mummy, daddy, bhen, alfi kulfi, sarah, yen and os. you guys make me still wanna wake up in the morning.

2010-02-19T11:34:00.002+08:00

many things are a lot easier said than done.

i had plans, and things didn't work out as planned. of course i felt sad, i couldn't stop myself. but i guess there's a reason for everything. maybe something good will come out of it.

but i am a highly impatient and slightly crazy person, and waiting for the good is driving me mad. and the worst part is, i don't know who to tell, or who to ask.

there are so many things going on and i feel like a mess. and i really wish everything would just disappear, but life's not that simple, i've learnt.

and gosh do i hate making decisions. and still i dislike people who can't.

i perpetually worry about what people think of me, and that drives me mad too. and i don't know how to control my own mood swings i don't understand how my family stands it.

sometimes i'm mean to alifya for no reason, or i storm off from the room in defiance when my parents tell me to do something. i feel like crap after that but my ego is so big i never go back and apologize.

i was looking forward to this long break more than anything i've looked forward to. and it's turned out to be quite a disappointment.

maybe i shouldn't make plans, because when they don't work out, the disappointment is freaking unbearable.

2010-02-14T14:21:00.001+08:00

it's like i'm screaming and nobody's listening.

eric, you're a dumbass

2010-02-11T11:51:00.002+08:00

Eric: (badly hungover) My head hurts.
Red: That's your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

Red: When my time comes I want to be buried face down. That way whoever doesn't like me can kiss my ass.

you gotta love That 70's Show (:

in other news, sarah and i went to the driving centre today to register me for basic theory. and apparently we're supposed to pay by nets, and i didn't have one. luckily, sarah did. and so she punched in her pin and all and then the lady was like oh your account doesn't have money. so we asked her where's the nearest atm machine then. and she said to go to ubi. but we just walked all the way from ubi!! so finally i just picked out a nice-looking girl and asked her if she could help me pay, and i'd give her the cash. thank god that worked out x) but sarah, why is it that when you and i go out (even for this short period of time) something completely silly must happen??

??

2010-02-09T10:47:00.003+08:00

Australian Chayne Hultgren set a new Guinness World Record yesterday by simultaneously swallowing 18 swords each measuring 50.8cm by 1.3cm. Also known by his stage name The Space Cowboy, the 31-year-old beat the record he had set in 2008.

(Taken from: The Straits Times, February 9, 2010, Tuesday)

okay seriously what's up with that?? why in the world would you wanna swallow swords for fun, i don't suppose you can get any good out of that. but anyway.

i finally watched Jail! and have fallen even more in love with Neil Nitin Mukesh. wow that is one good movie, my favourite Madhur Bhandarkar movie actually. i won't say anything about it except wow!! kept me at the edge of my seat throughout.

in other news, Zahabia left ): but that's okay, there's skype!! haha thank god for that. and besides, she's keep coming back right, considering perth is really nearby. but i'll miss her ): hate it when people leave.

2010-01-23T23:44:00.002+08:00

she comes and she leaves and she comes and she leaves and i'm left waving at her from across the immigration counters. my heart screams don't go my mind says she must and in this conflict of heart and mind why do my eyes tear up like that?

why does it become more and more difficult?

why do i feel like a part of my being is leaving too?

why must dubai be so freaking far?

why can't my heart learn to accept what my mind unwillingly has?

why can't life be simpler?

2010-01-15T21:49:00.002+08:00

Owl

A wise old owl sat in an oak,
The more he heard the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard.
Why aren't we all like that wise old bird?

Anon.

bhen is here and bhabhi finally gave birth!! the baby is super small and super cute when i see him i just have to swoon haha.

just hope mummy gets well soon too.

jeryl moments

2010-01-07T14:28:00.003+08:00

now that my As over, obviously the time to clean out my shelves has finally come. so as i was looking through the millions of papers i've collected over the past 2 years, i found this foolscap paper headed by the title: A compilation of Jeryl Moments

it's super funny haha because it just reminded me of all the nonsense that went on in class the past 2 years. let me type out a few of the funnier ones:

(the class is going through an econs case study on the prices of tortillas in Mexico)
Mr Evans: Jeryl, can you give me one key word?
Jeryl: Uh, tortilla.

Mr Evans: It's something to do with what consumers have in their pockets. Something producers have no control over.
Jeryl: Handphone?

Jeryl: I want to be an air stewardess.
Husena: You mean air steward?
(Husena is ignored)
Jeryl: Ma'am, do you want orange juice or tea?

Mr Chan: Husena, what is Newton's Second Law?
Jeryl: Newton's Second Law is... blah blah blah.
Mr Chan: Thank you, HUSENA.
Jeryl: (very long pause) Did he just call me Husena? My name isn't Husena!

Mr Evans: What is another term for long-distance travel?
Hui Erh: Give us a clue, Sir.
(Mr Evans writes "long-" on the whiteboard)
Mr Evans: It starts with 'h'.
Jeryl: HELICOPTER!

x) i wish i had compiled other people's moments also, like Tian Le moments! or Hannah moments haha that would've been super funny too.

i'm bored to death and i miss school.

i never thought i'd say that.

hello 2010

2009-12-31T16:39:00.002+08:00

in 2008, i dreaded 2009. but 2009 turned out much better than i had expected really. in fact, it turned out amazing =) academically, spiritually, personally.

spiritually, the fact that i got raza to go for Ashara, that was definitely the highlight. when i got the raza, i thought that was the happiest i could have ever felt.

i was wrong. when i finally got to do deedar of Moula after 10 whole years, i decided that was the happiest i could've ever felt.

wrong again. when i got Qadambosi pass and Moula looked directly at me and smiled, my heart was bursting with so much, so much happiness, i can hardly describe it. that is seriously the happiest i have ever, ever felt. that's when i realised that in the past 10 years, i've never actually experienced true happiness in a long, long time. and now that i'd been given the sharaf of such happiness this year, i'll never let it go. Inshaallah, i will go for Ashara every year. pray for me.

academically, i thought 2009 was going to drag me to my grave. but it turned out better than expected i think. i wasn't so lost anymore, and when i looked at my exam papers i didn't see stars. Inshaallah, when my A level results come out, i will be crying tears of joy and not sadness.

personally, i have changed i feel. actually it's not me that's changed, but something has changed. everything feels, changed. maybe it's because JC has come to an end, maybe that's why i feel things have changed. but i do know that it's definitely a good change. i feel it. there's one big change that happened, and i'm very surprisingly very pleased that it happened. i never thought i'd be happy with that change, but i am, because now i know that i can start fresh, clear of anything. i know that when i read other people's blogs and they type in riddles, i feel very annoyed. and so i apologise for typing in riddles, if it even makes sense, but i can't type it as it is.

i am thankful that this year happened, and i'm thankful for everyone who has spent this year with me. my friends, my family, for supporting me throughout this super difficult year. but now it's finally over, and i can't wait for 2010, for new, exciting things to happen.

i feel it, i know it.

2009-12-12T13:35:00.000+08:00

Mubarak! You have got the Azeem Sharaf and Raza Mubarak for attending Ashara Mubaraka 1431H.

oh yeah baby, i'm going!

2009-12-03T12:53:00.002+08:00

"Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop."

-Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

my A levels are officially completely over baby! right now, i have elaborate plans as to how i shall spend allllll my free time, which i know will give way in a few days and i'll end up watching Grey's at home x)

but!! i will get my driving license, earn my own money and go to dubai, in the least! in the meantime, i have dinner with the minahs, prom and qaizar's bday party to look forward to. life rocks and will continue to rock, i feel it!!

10 more days

2009-11-24T12:46:00.003+08:00

till my last A level paper! but then you may wonder, what in the world i am doing here. it's because my last paper is the only paper i have left anyway =) and it's bio mcq! so i guess i'm allowed to squeeze in a long overdue blog post.

last i blogged was oct 1? haha i am such a sad case. okay first photo update! actually i don't know if you guys like photo updates, but i do them anyway because i like them hehe so live with it x)

1. eid visiting with the masjid girls =)

2. my favourite twins' 19th!

sorry i couldn't stay till the end guys! i had to study x) but see if you guys were born just a little later, i would've stayed so long you guys would have to eventually kick me out of the house x)

okay that's the end of the photo update, because i realise i'm much too lazy to upload more pictures x) but now! let me blog about my lovely A levels.

A levels started off in the most interesting way for me. the first paper was maths paper 1, and as in attempted to conquer the very first question of my entire A levels, my graphing calculator died. no joke. i panicked and prayed and prayed and panicked and then thinking that i was doomed, i began crying. which was a totally hilarious thing to do considering the fact that all i really needed to do is put up my hand and ask for help. which i did eventually. the teacher was really nice (and i think he was kind of shocked), and he told me to calm down and do another question that didn't require the use of the GC (which didn't exist) while he looked for a GC for me. and so because of this unlikely fiasco, i ended up spending half and hour on 2 questions =( but oh well what's done is done!

the rest of the papers went quite smoothly, Alhamdulillah, except for random weird questions. but nevermind! this nightmare is finally coming to an end, and i have to say that i totally wouldn't have been able to survive it if it wasn't for the love and support of my family and friends. i know it sounds lame and cliched, but it is true. my parents and sisters especially, never giving me a chance to doubt myself. and maryam! it was really super sweet of her to sms me everyday i had a paper to wish me good luck and then later on ask me how it went. thank you babe =)

and in other news, i've bought me a prom dress!!! but that is all i will disclose and now you have to wait for the real day to see what it is heehee. i know i'm so childish but oh well, i take immense pleasure in being just that x)

okay bye i'm off to watch a movie heehee.

2009-10-01T22:26:00.000+08:00

i begin getting back my prelim papers from tomorrow.

i'm scared shit.

hadippa!

2009-09-25T22:55:00.009+08:00

MY PRELIMS ARE OVER BABY.

i shall not comment on how my prelims went, because i honestly don't know myself x) instead, i shall update/photo-update my dead blog chronologically with all the events i missed out on because blogger went mad/i was studying.

1. my waras

you can see a jealous mariya waiting for her hug here.

mariya's turn!

2. Bhen's graduation

i won't lie and say Bhen's graduation was a whole load of fun, because it wasn't really x) wow sitting there and listening to the dean of god knows what read out the names of a gazillion people who were graduating before it finally reached Bhen's name was nothing but boring! the reception later was good though x) haha when is free food not good. but the entire experience was rather overwhelming as well. i hope the day when mummy, daddy, Bhen, Jiju & Alef sit in the audience waiting for my name to be called like that come soon as well!

3. Bhen's graduation dinner

4. Bhen & Jiju's 1st anniversary lunch

i had to be an emcee for a while, nerve-wrecking i tell you x)

now, the lunch was definitely a whole load of fun! but i think it was the most fun for Bhen of course, because mummy daddy had invited all of her friends from all her different aspects of life, so she could meet all of them

5. last day of lessons

i don't know why, i didn't feel the sadness i thought i would. i just felt super worried.

6. Eid

our first eid without Bhen. honestly, i cried a lot (in private) on this day. maybe it'll get easier as the years go by. but deep down in my heart, i wish it won't.

7. Dil Bole Hadippa!

i went to watch this movie today! Shahid is sooooooo hot and Rani is super gorgeous and i loved the movie so so so much! seriously, the movie is kind of odd because the different storylines kept starting and ending abruptly, but Shahid and Rani acted really really well. i even felt like crying during Rani's speech, which is really odd because i hardly ever cry during movies. maybe it's not a movie worth catching in the theatres, but it's definitely worth a watch =)

okay i'm off to bed now! toodles.

a mess

2009-07-16T20:47:00.004+08:00

is what i feel at the moment. so many thoughts running through my head, so many things bugging me, so many bouts of anger, happiness and plain frustration come and go and leave me dry and hollow inside.

but let me blog about happier things first, like alef's sweet sixteen birthday party.

alef is so sweet! she planned for my friends to come too and celebrate my waras (birthday in the islamic calendar), but i didn't know about it so when they came into my room i was busy putting on eyeliner and they suddenly screamed surprise! and boy was i caught by surprise:

but anyway, thank you mummy, daddy and alef for the surprise, it was so lovely of you guys =) i missed Bhen a lot during the party, especially when my friends somehow ended up hanging out in Bhen's room.

more pictures from the party:

i know i brought most of what has happened upon myself, i wont blame anyone or anything for it, i completely deserve what i got. but i'm not gonna let it stay this way, i'm gonna get back on my feet and finish this race. it doesn't matter whether or not i win the medal, what matters is that i didn't give up. and i won't give up, it's not the end yet. i'm gonna own, watch me, watch me close.

it felt really good talking to mary (sitti maryam haha) in the morning. yknow, just sharing thoughts like that. thank you mary, for so many many wonderful years of friendship, and let me thank you in advance for the many more to come. you're my oldest school friend, and i'm so grateful that you're in my life. and thank you, for not changing. for being you, always, and not changing according to your company. i don't recall the last time we had uncomfortable silence between us, and it's just so great to know that i can always be myself around you. i love you mary =)

people change. and i feel sad when these people are/were my friends. there're people in secondary school, or even just last year, i was completely inseparable from, and now these same people have changed so much i don't even recognise them anymore. they recognise me, i suppose, but they walk away hastily and act like they don't so we don't have to make uncomfortable small talk. we drifted so far and so fast, that we didn't even realise it happened. makes me wonder, that just a few months after the A levels, on my 19th birthday, how many of the people i'm inseparable from now will be celebrating it with me?

i have never poured out my feelings to such a great extent on my blog. i feel slightly uncomfortable posting this, but i won't delete it either.

gives me a warped sense of achievement, overcoming my own fear of getting too personal for fear of getting judged.

alifya's 16 now!

2009-07-12T12:34:00.005+08:00

finally! i've been trying to upload this photo since like last week. it was alef's SEXY SIXTEENTH birthday on the 2nd of july, but we're having celebrations today =)

so as most people know, my common tests ended, and well i'm not exactly liberated, prelims and A levels are right around the corner. i did go watch Duplicity after biology on friday, it wasn't that good though. quite confusing and the cast was wayyy too big i think.

thanks to H1N1, my school has gone a bit mad. but i guess so have many other schools. we have rules such as stay with your class at all times, lectures, breaks, after school. try not to mingle with other classes.

as such, we had to have PE with the guys this week. played basketball haha, quite fun i must admit! paul is a good player, everyone knows that, but what i didn't know is that tianle is pretty good too! i chose him to be on my team just for fun coz he seems to be pretty scared of me somehow.

oh but i am a bad basketball player haha and forever will be. Yen probably knows that very well x)

anyway, i think i better go help out around the house now, alef's sweet sixteen birthday party will start in a while!

tata.

:(

2009-06-28T11:33:00.002+08:00

dadima went back to Dahod yesterday =( the house feels so empty without her now. and watching tv is absolutely no fun without dadima's hilarious comments. sigh.

to add on to my misery, exams start tmr. why can't they postpone it?

it's a small world after all

2009-06-25T14:27:00.003+08:00

hello world, guess what?

my bio tuition teacher sent me an sms saying she can't teach anymore due to personal reasons.

A WEEK BEFORE MY EXAM.

well that's okay, so i started to look for another teacher. i called up a tuition agency, and she took my address, and then started going on about how she already has a teacher in mind, let me just call you back.

i said sure.

in the meantime i called up my cousin to help me for a while till i find a new teacher.

he said sure.

the phone rang again, my mom picked up this time. she listened to the person on the other side for a while before LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.

guess what happened?

the tuition agency had called up my cousin.

x)

fathers' day

2009-06-21T20:01:00.004+08:00

HAPPY FATHERS' DAY

DADDY!!

i made daddy breakfast!! indian french toast. it turned out... just okay haha.

it was a highly eventful day, as we found ourselves driving to the Botanical Gardens last minute since Marina Barrage was busy welcoming delegates of the International Water Week (?!) or something like that.

ended the day nicely at home cutting the delicious mango cake (i had 3 slices of it!!) that Bhen and Jiju sent all the way from Dubai!

retia?

2009-06-19T14:40:00.003+08:00

i had the weirdest dream EVER. i decided to take a nap before lunch because i could hardly keep my eyes open, but little did i know my brain wasn't at all tired and so i was half-awake throughout my nap.

and all this equated to: WEIRD DREAM. i can hardly remember the sequence of events, but i can remember bits and pieces:

part 1
-most of my dream, i was on the train from Mumbai to Dahod (my hometown in India) ALONE. which is odd, because that's never ever likely to happen in real life.
-i was wearing my "Give Me 409 Or Else I Die" shirt with track pants and just had this one huge suitcase i was dragging around. which is also odd because NOBODY goes to India with only one suitcase. it's humanly impossible.
-so i seemed to be dragging my suitcase to the door because my stop was coming. but the train didn't stop! because actually the stop was Retia, not Dahod. Retia is the stop that comes before Dahod. BUT WHY WAS I DREAMING OF RETIA? beyond my comprehension.
-so i drag my suitcase back in and sit at this cafe kind of place within the train. which is odd because the local trains do not have cafes.
-but anyway, i sit there and stare at a television which is at the cafe, and Pavitra Rishta (a Hindi serial that comes on Zee TV) was on. which is also odd because local trains don't have televisions either.
-and then i finally reach Dahod, so i get off the train to meet my dad and my uncle who've come to pick me up.

part 2
-now i'm at home again, in Singapore. and my younger sister is carrying my maid (?!) who wants to take a towel from the cupboard in my room but the cupboard's too high so my sis is carrying her. and then when my maid's gotten the towel, my sister lets go of her real quick so she lands on the floor with a loud thud.
-and Qaizar, my nephew, comes swinging (?!) into the room and suddenly all the cupboard doors are open and he's swinging from door to door.
-outside, his father, Shabbarbhai, is sitting in the living room wearing this singlet. and my dad is leaving for someplace because all his bags are packed. i ask him where he's going and he says he hasn't decided yet. HUH.
-and then i get an sms from Yen, my classmate, which says "Why" and that's all. why?

and life sucks when a mystery is left unsolved, so when i woke up i decided to piece my dream together. this is what i got:

-my mom and grandma were talking about how my grandma is going back to Dahod soon, explaining why i was on my way to Dahod.
-my dad asked me to look out for Retia the last time we went to Dahod on the train, explaining why i was trying to get off at Retia.
-my sister came into the room while i was sleeping and clapped loudly before announcing that lunch is ready, explaining the loud thud and why i was at a cafe.
-my sis was watching Zee TV outside, and so that's why i dreamt of Pavitra Rishta.
-i remember scolding Shabbarbhai for wearing that ugly singlet of his once, probably why i dreamt of him in that same lousy singlet.

but some things will always remain a mystery. like why i was travelling alone, wearing my 409 shirt & track pants, dragging around one suitcase. or why my sis was carrying my maid. or why Qaizar was swinging from cupboard to cupboard.

but the weirdest is the sms from Yen. because after i woke up, i looked at my phone, and i did receive an sms form Yen! Yen hasn't smsed me the entire of the holidays, so dreaming of it week 3 of the hols and then actually have it happen immediately is plain freaky.

anyway, in other news, i had bio tuition this morning. this is what happened sometime during tuition (my tuition teacher's name is Ms Lim by the way):

Ms Lim: (flipping through my lecture notes on bacteria and sighing) i think you guys are fantastic.

me: why?

Ms Lim: (grabbing my notes on the nervous system and flipping through that instead) if you learn everything now... what will you learn in uni?

hahaha.

birthdays galore

2009-06-15T12:24:00.003+08:00

it feels like i only come here to blog about people's birthdays, which is kind of sad. but at the same time, kind of fun! so here goes again.

1. Daddy's birthday!

it's so cute that Qaizar and Mariya were fighting to sit in my lap =)

2. Mary's birthday!

10 years of friendship and more to come! i love you maryam =)

3. The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid

okay i do realise this is not a birthday, i'm not completely crazy, yet. TRF is a book i read recently, and it's a really really good book. the entire story takes place one evening in Lahore, where a Pakistani man named Changez, who used to live in America, tells a rather nervous American visitor about his time in America. it's a very cleverly written book, that could easily keep you highly engaged in the book. try reading it if you have the time guys! not very thick either =)

a feat beyond compare

2009-06-05T12:59:00.003+08:00

This has to be a shoo-in for the title of the world's smallest pair of shoes. They are as long as a grain of rice and several pairs can be balanced on the tip of one finger. They were crafted by Ms Ren Tingli of Chifeng city in north China's Inner Mongolia Autonomous Region.

(Taken from: The Straits Times, June 5, 2009, Friday)

my only question, what exactly is the point of this creation?

earlier when i used to watch Guinness World Records on the television, i could never figure out what was so great about getting into the Book of World Records for something like the longest fingernails in the world, or the most number of tattoos on your body.

and i still can't.

but really, my mind is just preoccupied with something else altogether.

with lots of prayers and Moula's dua, everything will be okay again, don't worry.

tujh me rab dikhta hai

2009-06-03T12:12:00.002+08:00

yesterday Bhen showed me this video of a Chinese guy singing Tujh Me Rab Dikhta Hai (a hindi song from Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi):

how cool is that! he obviously doesn't sound as good as the original, but for someone who doesn't know the language, his pronunciation is pretty good. and the fact that he memorised the lyrics is a feat in itself!

holidays, finally

2009-05-31T11:40:00.006+08:00

yes the holidays are finally here! i was starting to get seriously sick of school so this is just perfect. and my foot's healed too so everything is just falling nicely in place. okay i've carefully planned out my holidays, so these are a few things i shall do:

1. install my webcam
2. study
3. skype with Bhen
4. study
5. cut my hair
6. study
7. file my papers
8. study
9. clean my cupboard
10. study

i think my plan is perfect x) anyway, this week has been rather eventful.

1. GP exam

if i'm honest with myself, i know it didn't go as well as the earlier CT, but let's just cross our fingers and hope for the best shall we?

2. Batul's misaq jaman

misaq is like a coming-of-age ceremony, you could say. and Batul is my cousin!

batul! looking as gorgeous as ever =)

3. Dance India Dance Grand Finale

SALMAN WON =) and i feel that he totally deserved it because the slogan said "Sabse Bade Dancing STAR Ki Khoj", and not "Sabse Bade DANCER Ki Khoj". (this means "the search for India's biggest dancing star, not India's biggest dancer") and Salman was really the entire package. but i think Jai didn't deserve to get fourth, he was a gazillion times better than Siddhesh! anyway, the show has come to a conclusion, and so i decided to post a few of my favourite dances up. enjoy =)

Alisha & Mayuresh - Pyar Ki Yeh Kahani Suno

Bhavna - Mahi Ve

Mayuresh - Dil Se

Jai - Aadat

Salman - Zara Si

4. Bugis Junction

husena finally has a proper pair of flip flops everyone! that too after her foot healed x) not very smart x) anyway, guess who i saw at Bugis Junction today! Adrian Pang x) he was paying at the cashier at some shop, when Alef saw him and exclaimed "look it's Adrian Pang!" to which he turned and nodded slightly in acknowledgement x)

okay, i'm off to install my webcam now x)

silence! i kill you

2009-05-25T20:57:00.003+08:00

okay seriously, this is only funny for people who know who's Achmed x)

in other news, Bryden insisted i take a picture of him on his throne.
(it was a huge hole in the wall with a chair in it.)

Bryden is mad.

just my luck

2009-05-23T17:58:00.005+08:00

guess whose foot thought it'd be funny to get inflamed AGAIN and spoil more than a year of difficultly attained happy co-existence?

yes, mine.

dear Foot,
i've warned you time and again to check before opening the door. i warned you against Sprain, Stubbed Toe, Broken Toenail and ESPECIALLY against Sesamoiditis, but you never listen do you? you think i'm just being a naggy party pooper. so you let the biggest villain in, thinking i won't find out. does it hurt Foot? look who got the last laugh. SESAMOIDITIS.

for the clueless, i'd gotten sesamoiditis around the beginning of last year as well, and honestly, IT SUCKS. what is sesamoiditis?

Sesamoiditis is a common ailment that affects the forefoot, typically in young people who engage in physical activity like running or dancing. Its most common symptom is pain in the ball-of-the-foot, especially on the medial or inner side. The term is a general description for any irritation of the sesamoid bones, which are tiny bones within the tendons that run to the big toe. Like the kneecap, the sesamoids function as a pulley, increasing the leverage of the tendons controlling the toe. Every time you push off against the toe the sesamoids are involved, and eventually they can become irritated, even fractured. Because the bones are actually within the tendons, sesamoiditis is really a kind of tendinitis - the tendons around the bones become inflamed as well.

From: http://www.foot.com/info/cond_sesamoiditis.jsp

looks like your curse worked huiwen! i really really shouldn't have laughed at your stubbed toe. but then again, it's not my fault hannah told us the story like it was the most hilarious thing ever!

moving on.

i was dreading learning evolution for bio, because it's a very subjective topic. but i found out something very sad about the cheetah through this topic. the cheetah may be a running machine, but the species seems to be heading for extinction. apparently, the species has somehow lost its genetic variation. i took this off my bio tutorial:

As a result of intensive inbreeding generations ago, each cheetah appers to be nearly identical with every other cheetah. Genetic uniformity would hamper the ability of a species to adapt to ecological changes. Although the cheetah is the world's fastest mammal, it can only run a few hundred metres before collapsing for half an hour or more to regain its strength. During this time it can be attacked, or at least, lose its catch. Indeed, even when it is not exhausted, a cheetah is rather timid as a defender of its catch. More than half of the kill may be snatched by more aggressive lions, leopards or hyenas.

you think life is unfair? the cheetah's got it 7305650 times worse.

anyway, i went to watch the girls basketball finals on friday after school. we may have lost, but it was a really well fought game. so many times in the game i thought my heart was going to stop. the final 1.9 seconds was heartbreaking, but honestly, catching up by more than 10 points within the last 23 seconds and being left with 1.9 seconds for a three-pointer and YET not losing hope at all is in itself very very commendable. all i have left to say is WELL DONE BBALL GIRLS =)

and for yen, wow you were seriously burning the court. you played excellently and looked hot while you were at it too =) you have absolutely nothing to cry about because you know you had put in your all. and from the 09SO3B girls: we love you yen <3

everytime you do that thing you do

2009-05-16T13:54:00.009+08:00

god do i love that song! i keep singing it to myself x) i love happy songs, they somehow manage to bring a smile to your face, no matter how rotten the day had been. well many things have happened since i last blogged!

1. Dadima's birthday

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

DADIMA!

2. Jumana's 21st

happy belated birthday to you too! hope you liked the skates =)

3. Mother's Day

alef and i (but mostly alef) made breakfast for mummy and dadima. then later we went to Mad Jack's for dinner with Shabbarbhai and family. Qaizar and Mariya were at their cutest =)

4. NAPFA

well, it didn't go as horrendously as i thought it would. and i actually managed a C for sit and reach! which is usually out of REACH for me. (please everyone, feel free to laugh at my hilarious joke) except that yesterday i was aching all over like mad, and today, something seems to have snapped in my calf, coz it's throbbing like crazy and i can't walk without cringing.

lo and behold, husena has become highly highly unfit.

i miss you already

2009-05-03T12:53:00.002+08:00

Bhen, i honestly cannot remember the last time i felt this miserable. sure you'll be back and all that, but only for visits! not with plans of staying. the last time you left i knew you'd be back, and you'd be staying for a longer period of time as compared to the time you spent there. but now it's for real, you've really migrated there, and i'm so selfish all i can think about is how extremely miserable i am. i'm typing this through my tears and i'll probably delete this post sooner or later because i'm not sure i'm thinking rationally typing this.

but i hope you'll be happy there, happier than you've ever been with us even! this house will never be the same without you, i know we'll adjust sooner or later but the void will always remain, and i want that void to forever remain. and even though we're so far away from each other, i hope we can still be as close as ever. and if you ever need anyone to talk to, even if the time difference does not agree, i'm always always available.

i love you, so so so much. and i miss you more than you could ever imagine.

whirlwind of emotions

2009-05-02T18:54:00.002+08:00

god do i love that word, whirlwind. just like i like the word sophisticated. or ribbons. they like roll of your tongue so nicely.

i am so very happy that Shabbarbhai has fixed the internet on my desktop, THANK YOU I LOVE YOU LOTS LOTS LOTS.

i am so very very annoyed with the mess on my table, i have to do something about it.

i am so very very very sad.

don't go Bhen.

please?

one

2009-04-18T13:59:00.002+08:00

by James Berry

Only one of me
and nobody can get a second one
from a photocopy machine.

Nobody has the fingerprints I have.
Nobody can cry my tears, or laugh my laugh
or have my expectancy when I wait.

But anybody can mimic my dance with my dog.
Anybody can howl how I sing out of tune.
And mirrors can show me multiplied
many times, say, dressed up in red
or dressed up in grey.

Nobody can get into my clothes for me
or feel my fall for me, or do my running.
Nobody hears my music for me, either.

I am just this one.
Nobody else makes the words
I shape with sound, when I talk.

But anybody can act how I stutter in a rage.
Anybody can copy echoes I make.
And mirrors can show me multiplied
many times, say, dressed up in green
or dressed up in blue.

life is unfair

2009-04-10T20:13:00.004+08:00

as PW proves. ah hell, what's done is done right? i know i started off this post thinking i have lots to say. but i honestly cannot remember. i'll just do another facebook quiz. i guess you could say i'm easily, very easily, amused x)

STEP ONE:
Spell your name with songs -
H anging By A Moment
U ncha Lamba Kad
S hut Up And Bounce
E mosonal Attyachaar
N azrein Milaana, Nazrein Churaana
A aoge Jab Tum

STEP TWO:
– Name: Husena.
– Birth date: 13 feb 91.
-- Nickname: NONE. but my dadima calls me rani =)
– Eye Color: dark brown.
– Hair Color: dark brown.
– Zodiac Sign: aquarius.

STEP THREE:
–The shoes you wore today: neckermann's.
– Your weaknesses: barfi =)
– Your fear(s): many.
– Your perfect pizza: is made by my mom.

STEP FOUR:
– Your best physical feature: my eyebrows HAHA.
– Your bedtime: whenever i feel sleepy.
– Most missed memory: ??

STEP FIVE:
This Or That…
– Pepsi or Coke? what's the difference?
– McDonald’s or Burger King: BK!
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: no tea!
– Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate.
– Cappuccino or coffee: neither?

STEP SIX:
Do You…
– Smoke: no.
– Sing: we-ll, i like to believe so x)
– Dance: same answer as the one earlier x)
– Take a shower everyday: no no, i bathe like once in a month actually.
– Have a crush: nope.
– Do you think you’ve been in love?: yes.
– Want to go to college: yes.
– Like(d) high school: yes.
– Want to get married: yes.
– Get motion sickness: yes.
– Think you’re a health freak: nope.
– Get along with your parents: yes.

STEP SEVEN:
In the past month…
– Gone to the mall: yes.
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope.
– Eaten Sushi: nooooooooooooooo. (i shall leave the answer as Os wrote it x))
– Been on stage: no.
– Gone skating: no.
– Made homemade cookies: nope =(
– Gone Skinny dipping: no.
– Stolen anything: yes, everybody's peace of mind with my constant whining.

STEP EIGHT:
Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes.
– If so, was it mixed company: no.
– Flashed anyone: nope.
– Been beaten up: nope.
– Shoplifted: shops are quite heavy, i dont hv enough energy! (hahaha this is Os' answer, i decided to leave it as it is too x))

STEP NINE:
– Age you hope to be married: i don't know.
– Numbers of Children: 2 or 3?
– Describe your Dream Wedding: haha never really thought about it. i'll be wearing green though!
– What country would you most like to visit? i don't like travelling x)

STEP TEN:
In the opposite sex..
– Best eye color?: green.
– Best hair color?: green.
– Short hair or long hair?: green hair.
– Height: damn i can't think of a way to put green into this answer.

STEP ELEVEN:
– Number of people I could trust with my life: 5.
– Number of CDs that I own: none?
– Number of tattoos: none.
– Number of piercings: 2.

Personal Quiz
Who were you with yesterday? my classmatesss.
What woke you up this morning? first my alarm which screams AA KHUSHI SE KHUD KHUSHI KARLE which i switched off happily, followed by my mom.
Is tomorrow going to be a good day? yes.
Do you like anybody? i like everybody.

THE PAST
Ever thrown up in public? yes, in India x)
Passed out because of alcohol? nope.
What’s on your mind RIGHT NOW?: should i do chem first or bio? god i'm such a geek.
What kind of home would you like? small and cosy and tucked away.
What do you want to be when you grow up? i like being a human being really.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?: here, except i'll be typing on a laptop x)
Do you like candy necklaces? no.
When was the last time you fell over or ran into something? yesterday x)
Do you listen to music every day? yes.
Do you still go trick or treating? never been to start with!
What was the last thing you ate?: dinner.
Are you a fast typer? i guess?
Whats your favorite type of soda? i'm not fussy haha as long as it's not Sarsi yucks.
Have you ever moved? yes.
Have you ever won an award? yes.
Are you listening to music right now? no.
How long ’till your birthday? aiyah long time la.
When were you the saddest in your whole life? sec 4.
What time is it? 9.40pm
Do you use ebay to buy or sell? no.
Who makes you mad? people who annoy me duh.
Have you ever heard a song written about you? no.
Something you want to happen in 2009? ace my A levels please.

HONESTY SECTION
1. Honestly, what color is your underwear? pink.
2. Honestly, whats on your mind? okay i think i'll do chem first.
3. Honestly, what are you doing right now? this?

6. Honestly, have you done something bad today? yes.
8. Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone? aziz mamaji.
9. Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? no.
10. Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time? why are the questions so repetitive?
11. Honestly, do you bite your nails? no.
12. Honestly, have you had an eating disorder? no, contrary to popular belief.
13. Honestly, do you want to see someone this very moment? nope.
14. Honestly, are you keeping a big secret now? nope.
15. Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like? nope.
17. Honestly, are you in denial? no.
18. Honestly, do you get up in the middle of the night and eat? sometimes x)
19. Honestly, do you like anyone? i like everybodyyyyy.
20. Honestly, does anyone like you? who doesn't?

ANGER SECTION
1. What do you do when you’re mad? glare.
2. What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad? say things i didn't mean.
3. Ever made anyone cry when you were mad? i think so.
4. Do you swear when you’re mad? yes.

CRYING SECTION
1.When was the last time you actually cried? yesterday.
2. Ever cried yourself to sleep? yes.
3. Do certain songs make you cry? yes.
4. What usually makes you cry? my academics haha, call me a geek if you so please.

HAPPY SECTION
1. Are you usually a happy person? yes.
2. What makes you the happiest? famous amos cookies.
4. Do you believe in yourself? mostly.
5. When people say they think you are good looking/pretty, do you get happy? heehee.

lazy change of colour scheme, i know x)

if i were you

2009-04-07T19:08:00.003+08:00

if you're my family member, good friend or superior, i think it's justified for you to use that phrase on me. if you aren't that qualified, but you say it politely, like in a 'in my opinion, but that's just my opinion' kind of way, it's fine too. in fact, i'd appreciate the fact that you bothered to help.

BUT if you're in absolutely no position to comment, and you say it in a patronising, 'listen to me because i'm right' tone, i really cannot stand it. i feel like screaming "BUT YOU'RE NOT ME, AND YOU NEVER WILL BE NO MATTER HOW MUCH PLASTIC SURGERY YOU DO."

Sarah came up with a better way to counter this though x) next time someone like that says "if i were you...", listen interestedly till he/she is done, and then look the person in the eye and reply:

"if i were you, i'd stop talking to me."

HAHAHA. okay actually i'm frustrated with something else and i even typed out a paragraph on it, but then highlighted the entire thing and hit delete instead. venting my frustration on this seemed somehow more sensible.

but thank you mummy, Bhen and Alef. i know i ~~was~~ am sulky and annoying, but i also know you guys mean well, and i'm very grateful that you guys are so supportive. i love you =)

anywayyy, during bio lecture yesterday, my lecturer was showing a video of the development of the fetus. he stared at the screen thoughtfully before announcing:

"you were all once a ball of cells. (short pause) how undignified."

x)

and life goes on

2009-04-03T20:02:00.002+08:00

after the CTs. no time to celebrate even x) not that i did anything so exceptionally well that i even deserve to celebrate, but anywayyy.

have i ever mentioned how PE in ~~RJC~~ RI(JC) is absolute killer? PE in RI(JC) leaves me with only Sunday to feel not tired and not achy. i have PE on Monday and Thursday see. Monday i feel tired, Tuesday and Wednesday i face the repercussions of PE on Monday as my body aches. same for Thursday, it leaves me exhausted. Friday and Saturday i feel the effects. and so at this very moment, i'm aching like CRAZY.

okay i understand that you have to be tough with the guys for PE because they'll be going to army after this and so they need the toughening up and all that jazz.

BUT CAN'T YOU CUT THE GIRLS SOME SLACK?!?

ah i'm too lazy to blog properly. i shall fill in another quiz to amuse myself.

How old are you going to be when you get married?

Put an X in every box that applies to you.

Add up all the x`s and title subject with the sum as "My marriage age is__"

[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[ ] You own more than one credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[ ] You do your own laundry
[ ] You vote every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[ ] You think politics are exciting
[ ] You balance your own checkbook
[ ] Your parents have better things to say than your friends

Total: 3

[x] You show up for school/college/work every day early.
[ ] You always carry a pen in your pocket/purse
[ ] You've never gotten a detention
[x] You have never smoked a cigarette
[x] You have never gotten completely trashed
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x] You like to take walks by yourself
[x] You've watched talk shows
[x] You know what 'credibility' means without looking it up
[ ] You drink coffee[caffeine] at least once a week

Total: 9

[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x] My parents trust me
[ ] You can mow the lawn
[x] You can make adults laugh without being stupid
[ ] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[ ] You pay attention at school/college
[ ] You remember to feed your pets

Total: 15

[x] You can spell 'experience' without looking it up.
[ ] You work out on a regular basis. (not as much anymore, but oh well)
[ ] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[ ] You have gained weight since middle/high school (i hate this question)
[ ] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[x]You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[ ] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type quickly

Total: 18

[ ] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[ ] You have been to a Tupperware party
[x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] Most of all your friends are older than you are
[x] You can say no to staying out all night
[ ] You use the internet every day
[ ] Your wardrobe hasn't changed in a while
[x] You can read a book and actually finish it

Total: 22

Grand Total: 22

my marriage age is 22?! this quiz doesn't make much sense x)

2009-04-01T14:43:00.001+08:00

how did this happen.

again.

ct1 down

2009-03-28T16:42:00.004+08:00

CT2, prelims and A levels to go.

CT1 went better than expected i think. i'll just leave it as that, don't want to discuss it. many things have happened the past 2 weeks, good and bad. thanks to the CTs i didn't exactly have time to blog. so this is going to be a catch-up-on-everything kind of post.

first up, the good things.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

AMELINA!

and

HAPPY BELATED BELATED BIRTHDAY

ARINA!

sorry this is quite late and sorry i can't join you guys for the celebrations later today! i hope you understand. but anyway, love you guys lots lots! i express my love for you guys on my blog wayyy too often x)

next, zouk! my first time (sort of) clubbing experience. thank you for coming with me Alifiya and Ella! and Bhen, it was really a good show =)

okay i'm not going to blog about the bad things, when i read depressing things, i feel depressed too. and i think making other people depressed would indirectly make me depressed as well. it's all selfish my dears.

but anyway, i did this rather ridiculous-looking personality quiz that Jeryl tagged me to do on facebook: http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

the results, i must say, were surprisingly not that ridiculous. it made me think though. think hard.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

try it! you'll be quite surprised too.

2009-03-26T21:51:00.002+08:00

if things that are not directly related to me are affecting me so much, i can't imagine how the people who are directly involved must be feeling.

both of you are so strong. i really admire you guys. i hope everything becomes okay soon.

i miss you Nanima.

2009-03-20T18:11:00.002+08:00

"Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around."

-JD, Scrubs

i have a loving family and a bunch of caring friends, and i'm grateful.

but sometimes, just sometimes, i feel so awfully lonely.

but i know i mostly bring it upon myself anyway.

there's a hole in my sidewalk

2009-03-19T12:21:00.002+08:00

by Portia Nelson

Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost…
I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in… it's a habit.
But, my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5
I walk down another street.

scissors, paper, stone

2009-03-12T19:48:00.005+08:00

i feel like i've playing that with someone the whole week, and I KEEP LOSING. but before we move on to my whining (i will not call it rants because i don't lie) about the week, it was Yen's birthday on the 8th so let me just say

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

HOTSTUFF!

thank you for always listening to me even though you may (sometimes) be on the verge of pulling your hair out. i'm sorry that i couldn't celebrate your birthday with you =( i feel really bad. thank you for all the times you've made me smile with your hilarious antics and for all the times you've stood by me when i needed it. i seriously doubt i've been half as good a friend as you've been to me, coz you seriously raise the bar so high i find it hard to reach x) and for the last time, YOU DO NOT HAVE MAN ARMS! i love you babe =)

yes so about this week. monday and tuesday went by so fast i didn't even realise it. you know why? yes i was having STOMACH FLU ew gross. and so i was in this state of half consciousness and very very close to complete delirium and spent the 2 days drifting in and out of sleep, clutching my stomach. but i wasn't even having a severe case of this disgusting flu. my poor dad and Bhen (elder sis) were the ones who did actually reach a state of delirium, and even had an extra day of MC from the doctor x) and my poor mom, running after all 3 of us the whole day. i'm sorry mummy =(

and in this psychotic state i did manage to read the get well soon messages from my classmates, so thank you guys! the best, i must say, was Yen's message. i heard from Sarah the next day that Yen was actually quite upset that my response was not as enthusiastic as she had expected. sorry babe! but i guess my mind wasn't working that great. anyway, this is the message:

I just heard a joke.
This duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes. The bartender said no and the duck thanks him and leaves. The second day the duck comes again and asks for grapes. The bartender said "I'm sorry we don't serve grapes, have never served grapes and will never serve grapes." The duck gets a bit pissed. But thanks him nonetheless and leaves. The third day, the duck comes again. The bartender upon seeing him started shouting "You stupid duck! Stop asking for grapes. This is a bar. If you ask again, i'll nail your stupid beak to the door." The duck remained silent. Then asked "Do you have any nails?" The bartender although puzzled, still replied "No." Then the duck asked "Do you have any grapes?"
Cheer up i love you! :)

YEN IS THE CUTEST I SWEAR. i did half snort when i read it, i have to admit x) talking about jokes, i have one:

Yo Momma's so fat, when she fell she created the Grand Canyon.

HAHAHA. don't you think that's funny? well i didn't get a good response from whoever i told it to today. not even hannah (not even after her 2 minutes pause to think about it)! i'm really losing my touch i swear x)

anyway, moving on with this nightmare of a week. i finally returned to school on wednesday, and chem was first block. that didn't go too well, but i shan't speak about it. then this morning, i was supposed to run my 2.4km which was carried over from last week because i had the normal kind of flu. if i didn't run this morning, my 5 items would get cancelled and i'll have to retake my entire NAPFA all over again with the J1s!

so the question is, did i take it?

NO I DIDN'T I HAVEN'T EATEN A PROPER MEAL IN 3 DAYS THANKS TO THE HORRIBLE STATE OF MY TUMMY. and so along with it went my 5 items. crap. and then i decided to stay the entire day of school today because i was feeling a lot better. GP ended earlier so i managed to leave school earlier too. i was dead tired but had tuition at 4. when i reached home at 330, i was thinking, YAY! i shall sleep for half an hour first. when i took out my handphone, my tuition teacher had smsed me saying he's 10 mins away, can we start tuition early?

my conclusion: LIFE SUCKS.

okay la, maybe just for this week. but it does suck. i did another facebook quiz thing!

Mark an X where the sentence applies:
Multiply your total score by 2 and put the subject as I am _% Asian!

[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[ ] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[x] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] You think your parents want you to marry within your own race
[x] You eat rice almost everyday
[x] You drink lemon tea

X's so far: 5

[ ] You style your hair
[x] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[ ] Your parents are strict
[x] Your parents have high expectations of you
[ ] You always get A's/B's on your report
[x] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis or Irish Pingpong
[ ] You've seen the asian version The Ring/The Grudge

X's so far: 10

[ ] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[ ] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[ ] You've gotten little red envelopes around February
[ ] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[ ] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can solve a rubiks cube
[ ] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[ ] You play video games

X's so far: 11

[x] Everytime you're going out, your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[ ] You own a gaming console
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[ ] You get nothing if you do well in school, but punished if you don't

X's so far: 14

[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
[ ] You don't like football
[ ] You like Soccer.

X's so far: 15

[ ] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[ ] You know what purikura is
[x] you like bubble tea
[ ] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies

X's so far: 16

[ ] You know what is bok choy
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?" (Asian Pride)
[x] You've had pockys/yan yan before
[x] when you ask for ur mums permission she goes "ask ur dad"

Total X's: 18

I am 36% Asian!

okay if i'm 36% Asian, then i'm 64% what? African? European? Australian? this is beyond my comprehension x)

2 weeks notice

2009-03-06T18:51:00.007+08:00

HAH you got it wrong! i wasn't going to say i just watched Two Weeks Notice because i didn't. instead, i was going to say it is 2 weeks to my Common Test 1, and i'm scared, excited and nervous all at the same time. and those aren't even the words i wanted to use, but i can't think of words to express what exactly i'm feeling. let's just say i'm experiencing a gamut of emotions that all boils down to a lousy feeling in the pit of stomach. but well, nothing's happened yet, let's see when the time comes.

that's the wrapping paper i used to wrap Sarah's belated birthday present. i was feeling quite pleased with myself because Sarah said it was nice and i don't exactly make nice choices most of the time.

so i guess you could say i could hear my heart breaking when it was torn open as such x) but i hope you like your present babe! sorry we gave it to you so late =(

that's my classmate Huiwen if you haven't figured x) she said something highly crude upon seeing this picture. i typed it here earlier, but then i deleted it because i'm such a polite person and all that jazz x) but it was something like this:
"i look like an alien that just came out of an... (THIS IS THE SOMETHING I WILL NOT TYPE HERE)"
are you sad? don't worry x) if you ask me personally i'll still tell you. i guess i'm not that polite after all x)

yesterday's GP class was rather funny x) it was a discussion on war and we were given different realistic political scenarios and had to decide what we would do if we were in that country's place. so one of the scenarios that my group was given was something along the lines of a country ruled by a dictator that has been hiding nuclear arms and trade embargoes etc have still not made the country give them up. but the funny part was the end: "what would your country do if it's not long before the crazed dictator of that country might unleash them (the nuclear arms) upon the world?"

HAHA. and so the discussion went on and my teacher mentioned something about strategies used during war when suddenly:
faris: war got strategies ah??
(a moment of silence)
chongkai: eh faris later you play chinese chess with me okay?

HAHAHA. my classmates make life rather, well, colourful. if you know what i mean x) anyway, Siyun tagged me to do this idiocy test on facebook, and she scored a 3.6 GPA for it!! let's see how well, or hopefully, badly i do:

Directions:
Mark the idiotic things you've done, then add up the number of questions you marked. This test is out of 100 questions which means that the number you get as your score is your percentage.

1. [] Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. [] Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. [] Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. [x] Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. [x] Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not, or had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. [x] Been caught staring at your crush by your crush
8. [x] Have looked for something for at least 5 min then realized it was in your hand
9. [x] Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. [x] Tried to pull open a door that said push

Running total: 7

11. [] Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love-potion
12. [x] Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. [] Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. [] Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. [] Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. [x] Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. [] Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. [] Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. [x] Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. [] Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot

Running total: 10

21. [] Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. [] Have fallen out of a moving vehicle
23. [x] Have run into a closed door
24: [] Died from stupidity overload.
25. [] Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. [x] It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. [] Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. [] Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. [x] Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. [] Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock

Running total: 13

31. [] After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. [] Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. [x] Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. [] Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. [x] Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc when its on, even though you knew it was hot
36. [x] Taken off your clothes to change into something else then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. [x] Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. [x] Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. [x] Walked into a pole
40. [x] Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident/stolen someones shoes by accident

Running total: 20

41. [] Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. [] Tried to take a picture of someone's eye with the flash on
43. [x] Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. [x] Walked out of the bathroom (stall) with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. [x] Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there, you forgot what it is was that you were going to do
46. [x] Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it!
47. [x] Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. [x] Have poked yourself in the eye
49. [] Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. [] Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair

Running total: 26

51. [] Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. [xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx] Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. [x] Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. [x] Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was
55. [x] Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. [] Looked into an overhead purposefully while it was on
57. [] Got up early and got ready for school/work, then realized that you didn't have school/work that day
58. [x] Forgot your own phone number
59. [x] Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. [x] Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny
Running total: 33

61. [] Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. [x] Said funner then had someone make fun of you for it
63. [x] Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. [x] Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. [x] Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. [x] Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. [x] Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. [x] Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. [x] Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out
70. [x] Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught

Running total: 42

71. [] When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. [] Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. [x] Ran into a door jam
74. [x] Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. [x] Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. [] Have purposely licked playground sand
77. [] Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. [x] Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. [x] Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. [x] Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would hurt

Running total: 48

81. [] Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. [] Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. [] Sat and wondered why men's dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. [x] Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. [x] Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. [] Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. [] Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked funny
88. [] When at a restaurant, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. [] Have flung forks at people in a restaurant
90. [] Tripped and made the waiter drop the food.

Running total: 50

91. [x] As you are writing, you move your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. [] Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. [] Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. [] Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. [x] Have started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. [x] Read a whole book but during the whole book you weren’t even paying attention
97. [x] You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. [] When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling
99. [x] Have used your calculator as a form of communication in a class
100. [] Have popped a balloon in your mouth

TOTAL: 55

How to obtain your idiocy GPA:

80-100 4.0
70-79 3.6
65-69 3.2
60-64 2.8
55-59 2.4
50-54 2.0
45-49 1.6
40-44 1.2
less than 40 0.8

i scored 2.4!! oh dear. i passed.

my longest blog post yet

2009-02-26T22:20:00.015+08:00

caution: ~~long~~ very long post ahead.

i have just discovered how to add cancellations on words by editing the html, so please bear with me if i begin using it obsessively.

let me start with an explanation to the new section on my blog called 'sums left to go'. see my maths tuition teacher told my mom i was ~~lazy~~ not hard working enough, and my mom added on saying that yes i surf the net too much. so i thought why not put a constant reminder on the net about how much work i have pending so i get off the computer faster? yes i know it's a wonderfully bright idea, thank you.

i went to watch slumdog millionaire with my family last saturday, and it's really a lovely movie. its posters say it's 'the feel-good movie of the year' and they're not kidding. it makes you go awww at the end and feel all warm and nice inside x) this is my favourite part (don't read if you haven't watched the movie. but actually it doesn't make much of a difference so it's entirely your choice):

(Jamal is acting like a tour guide at the Taj Mahal and has brought an American couple to see Mumtaz's tomb)

female tourist: (whispers) how did she die?

Jamal: (solemnly) traffic accident.

male tourist: i thought she died during childbirth?

Jamal: (just as solemnly) yes, she was on the way to the hospital.

HAHAHAHAHA. the movie made Americans look quite silly actually. but it's really worth watching, so try to catch it!

this week proved to be a week full of hilarious conversations. i can't be bothered to blog about all of them, so i chose the top 3! here they are:

hilarious conversation 1

(a JC1 PE class seems to be playing a weird game near us)

Sarah: what are they doing??

Hannah: they're playing musical chairs without chairs.

Sarah: (believing) really?

(Hannah makes a i-can't-believe-you-bought-that face)

Sarah: i can't believe i believed you.

hilarious conversation 2

(Jeryl attempts to trick me with a joke)

Jeryl: how many colours are there in the rainbow?

me: 7.

Jeryl: then how many colours are there in 7 rainbows?

me: 7 la.

Jeryl: damn you got it. let me try and trick Yanjun. (turns to Yanjun) eh Yanjun, how many colours are there in the rainbow?

(long pause)

Yanjun: (as if in deep thought) 6.

Jeryl: no, seriously.

Yanjun: (looks around nervously) it's 6 what!

okay for the next conversation, you have to know that Yanjun is a rather big sized guy from Judo.

hilarious conversation 3

(Jeryl and Cheeyang are having a discussion about their NS medical check ups)

Jeryl: look the nurse can't miss my vein (pointing at a popping vein on his arm)

Cheeyang: yeah.

Jeryl: or there's this one too (pointing at another) or this one... (this continues until Jeryl is done counting 7 veins)

me: (annoyed) why don't you just wait for the time to come and let the nurse decide which vein she wants to poke!

(a moment of silence)

Jeryl: i wonder what they'll use to poke Yanjun.

me: JERYL DON'T BE MEAN.

Jeryl: eh Yanjun have you ever taken an injection?

Yanjun: which injection?

Jeryl: any.

Yanjun: yeah, why?

Jeryl: what did they use to poke you?

(long pause)

Yanjun: titanium, i think.

HAHAHA. i have hilarious classmates, it makes school life very interesting.

anyway, i've decided to do another facebook quiz:

husena-ology

Let others know a little more about yourself, re-post this as your name followed by "ology"

***********FOOD-OLOGY***************

What is your salad dressing of choice?
i'm not much of a salad eater.

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
or a outside food eater.

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it?
laksa.

What are your pizza toppings of choice?
i'm not really fussy, i'll eat anything.

What do you like to put on your toast?
butter and jam, butter and honey, peanutbutter, peanutbutter and jam, nutella.

**********TECHNOLOGY***************

How many television sets are in your house?
2.

What color of cell phone do you have?
white.

***************BIOLOGY******************

Are you right-handed or left-handed?
right.

Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
a viral wart HAHA.

What is the last heavy item you lifted?
my schoolbag.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
nope.

************BULLCRAPOLOGY**************

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
nope.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
i love my name very very much =)

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?
nope.

************DUMBOLOGY******************

How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
none.

Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
never.

Last person you talked to?
shabbarbhai.

**************FAVORITOLOGY****************

Season?
there's only one season in s'pore, HOT. there's nothing favourite about it.

Holiday?
november-december school holidays! but i just had my last one last year, now no more =(

Day of the week?
saturday.

Month?
february, for obvious reasons x)

***********CURRENTOLOGY*****************

Missing someone?
not really.

Mood?
happy.

What are you listening to?
my mom's voice.

Watching?
this?

Worrying about?
nothing.

***************RANDOMOLOGY*****************

First place you went this morning?
to the bathroom?

What's the last movie you saw?
slumdog millionaire!

Do you smile often?
i believe i do! those around me say i don't x)

QUESTIONS

1) Do you always answer your phone?
mostly.

2) It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it?
stacey maybe haha.

3) If you could change your eye color what would it be?
green HAHA.

4) What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?
huh?

5) Do you own a digital camera?
nope.

6) Have you ever had a pet fish?
yeah pet fishes. they all died.

7) Favorite Christmas song?
all i want for christmas is you.

8) What's on your wish list for your birthday?
i got everything i wanted, thank you guys =)

9) Can you do push ups?
yeah.

10) Can you do a chin up?
yeah.

11) Does the future make you more nervous or excited?
more scared.

12) Do you have any saved texts?
a few.

13) Ever been in a car wreck?
nope.

14) Do you have an accent?
when i speak Gujrati apparently x) oh and sometimes i pronounce 'w' as 'v' and vice versa. what to do, i'm a true Indian.

15) What is the last song to make you cry?
Maa from Taare Zameen Par by Shankar Ehsaan Loy.

16) Plans tonight?
nothing.

17) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?
yeah.

18) Name 3 things you bought in the last week
food, shoes, Sarah's present.

19) Have you ever been given roses?
nope.

20) Current worry?
nothing.

21) Current hate right now?
i don't hate. i dislike.

22) Met someone who changed your life?
yeah.

23) How did you bring in the New Year!
sleeping.

24) What song represents you?
Save Me. Smallville title song.

25) Name three people who might complete this?
Sarah, Hannah anddd Stacey!

26) What were you doing at 12 AM last night
sleeping.

27) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
oh crap i'm late.

okay i'm tired of this blog post, and i'm sure you are too.

wake me up inside

2009-02-21T12:15:00.007+08:00

"Life is like a blanket too short. You pull it up and your toes rebel, you yank it down and shivers meander about your shoulder; but cheerful folks manage to draw their knees up and pass a very comfortable night."

- Marion Howard

husena is sleepy but stubborn. i have lots of work to do, and i don't know what i'm doing here. i just came back home from chem tuition, and now my brain is so drained =( i'm so scared, so very scared. i feel perpetually unprepared. unprepared for everything! not only academics. SIGH.

ah but i don't want to bore you guys to tears with my insecurities. this week has been really draining. i turned 18 a week ago and still haven't taken any advantage of the fact. i think i better register for driving soon! talking about birthdays, it was Shabbarbhai's (my brother's) birthday on the 17th. so let me just say,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY

SHABBARBHAI =)

in other news, yesterday during break Sarah, Yen, Cheeyang, Yanjun, Amos and i went to the library to study. but the guys were very restless and kept doing weird things, like record Yanjun's booming laughter, play it over and over and laugh themselves to stitches doing that. (i personally find his laughter rather scary x)) so Sarah, Yen and i decided we'd behave like we didn't know them if the librarian comes up. then after a while they settled down, and we thought that they'd finally decided to get some work done. we were wrong though:

x) anyway. i keep getting tagged for all sorts of quizzes on facebook, but i guess i don't feel too comfortable posting them there for people i hardly ever speak to to see. i'll post one here instead, taking the idea from Tasneem =)

25 random facts about me:

1. i like green.
2. i like green apples.
3. i like green M&Ms.
4. i like green skittles.
5. i like sour skittles,
6. because they come in a green packet.
7. but i don't like green grapes,
8. just because.
9. i want a new phone,
10. not because i don't like my phone,
11. but because i just like new things,
12. i mean who doesn't?
13. i sleep late,
14. i wake up early,
15. and take long afternoon naps.
16. and i don't know why i found that important enough to mention it here.
17. i sleep with a pillow,
18. a bolster,
19. and my favouritest soft toy in the world, Kitty Katty.
20. i've learnt Malay in school for 13 years,
21. but i still can't speak it without pausing after every 3 words to form the next 3.
22. but my mother tongue is Gujrati,
23. i can speak Gujrati and understand Gujrati,
24. but i wish i could read Gujrati and write Gujrati.
25. and i have come to the end of this pointless quiz-like thing.

lovely.

friday the 13th

2009-02-14T11:19:00.002+08:00

was my birthday! to be honest, i was quite dreading it because i thought it'd been ruined by the fact that i suddenly had 2 extra classes after school, but i had forgotten that i was surrounded by WONDERFUL people, who didn't give me a chance to feel that way at all. and so i have to thank some people! (this sounds so much like an oscar's speech it's scary.) okay you know what, scratch that. i don't want to thank some people, i want to announce how grateful i am to have these people in my life =)

1. my family

i mean, whose mom is cute enough to send me a happy birthday sms exactly when the time on my handphone switched from 11.59pm to 12.00am other than mine? =) and a sister who is adorable enough to send me a long sweet letter that moved me to tears other than mine? i'm grateful to Allah that i've been blessed with such a wonderful family. a family i can laugh with openly, a family i can cry with openly, a family i can share secrets with comfortably, a family who accepts me not with all my flaws but BECAUSE of all my flaws, and a family i love unconditionally and very very much. thank you for making my every birthday a birthday worth remembering.

2. A.M.I.N.A.H.

what would i do without you guys! i would've been completely lost in JC at the start if it was not for you guys. it's funny how we knew each other from sec 1, but only really got to know each other at the end of sec 4! thank you for the yan-yan cake x) and the beautiful present! i don't say it often enough, but i love you guys, A LOT A LOT A LOT.

3. Stacey

5 years and running i've known this beautiful girl, both inside and out. thank you for the equally beautiful present dear! in your card you thanked me for being there for you, but really it's me who should thank you for sharing your world with me and letting me share mine with you. thank you for being there for me whenever i needed a shoulder to cry on, or whenever i needed someone to share my happiness with. i love you <3

4. 09SO3B

Sarah, Yen, Hannah, Huiwen & Munir, thank you for the lovely presents =) especially to Sarah and Yen who "walked until their feet rotted" (i quote Yen!) to find me those presents. Jeryl, thank you for getting the cake =) and to the rest of the class, thank you for all the birthday wishes and for singing the birthday song for me twice, YELLING my name a few hundred times the second time so that practically the entire canteen found out it was my birthday x) thank you for making JC life bearable and for letting me have a reason to get out off bed in the morning of school days =)

5. Chewmin

thank you for the gorgeous present dear =) after talking to you yesterday and the day before, i realise how much i miss you. we must catch up soon!

6. masjid girls

thank you for all the wishes =) especially Zahra and Maryam, thank you for staying up till 12 just to wish me =) i've known most of you practically my whole life, and i'm really grateful that i have you guys in my life. i wouldn't trade it for the world. and no matter which part of the world we end up in later (like India for Tasneem x)) i hope we can keep in touch forever and ever. i love you guys =)

7. Os

thank you for staying up and talking to me for so long in the middle of the night =) i've always known of your existence for the past 5 years, but we only really got to know each other last year and i'm really grateful that we did. you've been a great friend, and i hope i've been for you too.
Yeh dosti hum nahin todenge
Todenge dum magar tera saath na chhodenge.

8. everyone else who wished me!

whether it was through sms, phonecall, facebook or email, i'm very happy that you guys remembered and bothered to wish me =) thank you!

half of my friends forget my birthday in the excitement of valentines day, and wish me a few days later when they remember. i remember being very disappointed last year on my birthday, when i expected too much from people. this year i took mummy's advice and didn't expect too much. and that's exactly what made such a great difference =) i was pleasantly surprised when i got presents from people i least expected to give, and when people i hardly speak to found it important enough to remember my birthday and wish me. that's why i unabashedly told Stace and Sarah: i love birthdays! especially mine!

i wish everyday were my birthday.

x)

my name is aminah

2009-02-10T20:11:00.007+08:00

for more information about the above mentioned incident, please approach me personally and ask. it's seriously the dumbest thing that could've possibly happened with me. now instead of saying hi when she sees me in school, farhanah points and laughs. and now instead of saying just hi husena like he used to, sadikin says: hi husena. so anymore drama? so you can imagine x)

anyway, i haven't blogged in a century! yeah that's because i really haven't had the time. so! many things have happened since i last blogged.

1. take 5!

it was fun at times, boring at times. i'll just put up a few pics to make up for my lack of explanation about the event x)

2. mcs orientation!

my group was rather slack and so we surprised ourselves and came in second for the amazing race thing. i didn't bring my camera so i don't have any pictures! i got this picture of my group from arina's album on facebook. go there to see more if you like!

3. shopping with my family on sunday!

my family and i haven't been to orchard in the longest time, so we finally did on sunday =) it was so much fun! and my stomach didn't even start hurting too much. (see i'm sort of allergic to shopping, everytime i go shopping my stomach starts hurting x) something psychological la! because i don't like shopping so my body's response is as such)

anyway, and then we were trying to decide where to have dinner. the choices had narrowed down to:
ayam penyet house!
OR
ojalali (?! some indonesian restaurant my dad had heard of)

where did we end up? yes that's right, java restaurant! because my family makes choices so easily and unanimously see x)

okay that's pretty much it! i have LOTS of maths tuition hw to do, so i better get down to it!

nurul!

2009-02-02T21:05:00.007+08:00

(my personal favourite!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NURUL! <3

lost in a february song

2009-02-01T21:14:00.004+08:00

wow it's february already. one month has passed and well, i feel even less prepared for the A levels than ever before. i have to say that i'm scared, scared out of my mind. i really need to calm down.

mummy told me that the state of my hair reflects the state of my mind. and WELL. everyone has seen the state of my hair x) my lovely classmates say my hair looks like it's having a rock and roll dance party. and guang keeps calling me superman coz of my curly fringe that comes out no matter what way i try and pin it up x)

anywayyy. today is Bhen's waras (birthday in the Islamic calendar)! and last night, my parents held a function for her at the masjid (mosque). i was very sad actually, because it's Bhen's last waras with us =( ahhhhh why do girls have to move away from their families! it's so unfair. but i guess it's a man's world afterall. anyway, i have to blog about a few silly things that happened during this function, coz it was one of the most eventful functions yet x)

the function was going to start at 6.40pm, but my family decided to leave the house earlier because we had some stuff to finish up at the masjid first. and since Chingay was last night too, the Nicoll Highway was going to be closed at 5.30pm. so we decided to leave at 5. of course, whenever we decide to leave at a certain time, it's very likely that we end up leaving later, so when we finally left the house we were already rushing like crazy.

that was when i noticed that the sole of my Neckerman's was coming loose. we were getting late so i decided to just get in the car anyway. and so as we drive there, my family starts discussing about how we might not make it in time and they'll close the Nicoll Highway. and this was what it sounded like:

Mummy: how will they close the roads? at exactly 5.30 they'll block the road and insist that all the cars just turn back?

Bhen: yes, a bunch of policemen will stand in a row on the road and stop the cars.

Alef: yes that's right, a few accidents must be happening every year as well.

Bhen: that's the only way policemen in Singapore can die on duty.

HAHAHA. i love my family. so anyway, we did make it on time and didn't run over any policemen in the process. then later on during the function, my mom felt that we might not have enough juice to serve. so she sent Bhen, Alef and me to Cold Storage in Funan to get more juice. see, the 3 of us were wearing very different colours, Bhen was wearing bright red, Alef was wearing bright green and i was wearing bright blue. so i guess we looked kind of comical. i only realised exactly how comical we looked when a Malay family walked past us and spoke to each other in Malay thinking we didn't know what they were saying. they said something along these lines:

"eh eh look at those people's clothes! how funny!"

"where where?? oh yah they look so funny! oh i know! they must be taking part in Chingay!"

HAHAHA. it's fun being Indian and knowing Malay. i get to hear all sorts of hilarious things everyday. so anyway, we get the juice and begin walking back to the masjid. and then as we walk through Peninsular Plaza, the sole of my Neckerman's completely comes off, and i can't walk with my flapping slipper. and so, i had to put my arm around Bhen's shoulder and hop, yes HOP, all the way back to the masjid. I KNOW RIGHT. i felt so silly x) everyone kept staring.

okay anyway, i suddenly lost the urge to blog, i don't know why x) anyway, let me just say this:

WARAS MUBARAK BHEN!

i love youuuuuu.

be credit wise

2009-01-27T11:26:00.004+08:00

and so my long 5-day holiday which started on friday (which was staff contact day or something) is coming to an end soon. i'm relatively proud of myself this chinese new year because i feel i understand a lot more of my biology topics now than i did 5 days ago, and all in time for my biology test tomorrow too! perfect. but at the same time, i feel i've neglected the rest of my subjects quite a bit. i have to catch up with the rest of the world soon! 'A' levels are scaring the crap out of me.

but anyway, now you might be wondering what in the world my blog post title has to do with anything. actually that's the title of Bhen's (my elder sister's) final year project at university, and so her group made this video reaching out to poly and uni students on being credit wise. and i personally find it utterly hilarious x) you simply HAVE to see it for yourself:

i've gotten feedback that my blog posts are rather, well, different. in the sense that i write all sorts of things, random things that happened in the day, or things that amuse me, like the video above for instance. but i hardly ever write my opinions on the things i've shared, or how i feel that day.

i do that because, well i started this blog for fun. for people to read and laugh, or for friends who don't speak to me often enough to just catch up on what's been happening on my end. i didn't start this blog so that people read it and judge me. i get enough of that in the real world, i don't think i want that in the virtual world as well.

because just like Mother Theresa once said:

"If you judge people, you have no time to love them."

(credit goes to guangyu for continually drumming this quote into my head)

but anyway, for people who are reading this, just read my posts, laugh, and then forget about it. i hardly talk much sense anyway, and i like it that way. alright, i hope you guys enjoyed the video! and to all my chinese friends, happy chinese new year!

love poem, anyone?

2009-01-23T16:53:00.006+08:00

samuel cheng is highly amusing. he is hardly ever funny when he tries to be, but sometimes when you least expect it, he can actually make you laugh. take for instance today. we're talking on msn and he tells he's bored and he just read a very nice love poem. i say great, show it to me! and this is what it is:

A story wet as tears by Marge Piercy

Remember the princess who kissed the frog
so he became a prince? At first they danced
all weekend, toasted each other in the morning
with coffee, with champagne at night
and always with kisses. Perhaps it was
in bed after the first year had ground
around she noticed he had become cold
with her. She had to sleep
with a heating pad and down comforter.
His manner grew increasingly chilly
and damp when she entered a room.
He spent his time in water sports,
hydroponics, working on his insect
collection.
Then in the third year
when she said to him one day, my dearest,
are you taking your vitamins daily,
you look quite green, he leaped
away from her.
Finally on their
fifth anniversary she confronted him.
'My precious, don't you love me any
more?' He replied 'Rivet. Rivet.'
Though courtship turns frogs into princes,
marriage turns them quietly back.

?!!? and so in horror i continue our lovely conversation:

Husena.:
THAT'S NOT A LOVE POEM.
Husena.:
that's just sad.
Samuel. Impacted to impact! Radical Ignyters Of God!:
it is a love poem!
Samuel. Impacted to impact! Radical Ignyters Of God!:
just that it's not v lovely.

HAHAHA. and he actually means it! he wasn't trying to make a joke or anything. i pray everyone gets a friend like Sam. you will never feel bored again.

and by the way, if that is his definition of a love poem, hannah i feel very very VERY sorry for you.

heehee.

joy to the world!

2009-01-19T19:10:00.005+08:00

my chem test has been postponed till further notice! YAY. life rocks when the school is unsure of what it really wants x) but my bio test is still on =( oh talking about bio, i think our current lecturer is hilarious x) see we're doing the topic of inheritance now, and then she said the funniest thing in the middle of a punnet square explanation:

"so the white flower is white. (long pause) i just said something strange."

HAHA. okay it doesn't sound very funny now, but it was funny when it happened i guess. i'm just not a very good storyteller it seems!

anyway, looks like i've listened to/sung "Guzarish" from the movie Ghajini in Sarah's presence wayyy too many times. because now she even knows the first two lines! okay Sarah give it up now, i know you secretly love the song x)

oh talking about hindi songs, i heard a really nice one on the radio just now! (for those who don't know, YES, Singapore actually has a hindi radio station! it comes from 5-8pm on 96.3FM. go listen and support it! then maybe one day they'll have a full day radio station for hindi songs. i have big dreams see.) anyway, the song i heard is called "Sapno Se Bhare Naina" from a new movie called Luck By Chance. it's composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy and sung by Shankar. so for people who like hindi songs but don't keep up with new developments in the scene much (HINT ALIFIYA HINT), maybe this'll be nice to listen to.

i only know the line "Sapno se bhare naiiiiiiiinaaaa" and i keep singing it to myself, but not very softly either x) i wonder why Alef hasn't attempted to strangle me yet.

your stars

2009-01-18T10:45:00.003+08:00

this is what the newspaper had to say:

aquarius Jan 21-Feb 19
Your emotional state is pretty turbulent and you might need to take time off to deal with it. See if you can talk to the right person or, at least, find some way to express yourself.

and i find this to be utter rubbish. this is what it really should have been:

The state of your academics is pretty turbulent and you might need to take time off your constant slacking to start studying. See if you can stop talking to the whole world or, at least, find some way to stop wasting time doing unproductive things such as blogging.
FOR GOODNESS SAKE YOU HAVE A BIO AND CHEM TEST THIS WEEK.

oh dear.

que sarah sarah

2009-01-15T15:50:00.007+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

SARAH WEE!

thank you for being a wonderful classmate and friend, and for being so patient with me and my constant whining. today you turn 18 finally! (although you don't look it x) it's a compliment k!) and i can't believe you've immediately signed up for driving. but anyway, i hope you had a good day today, and it hasn't ended yet! so party away babe! i love you =)

seven pounds

2009-01-13T20:15:00.002+08:00

i seem to be so free because i keep blogging x) but that's only because i have no life see. so anyway, second day of school today! wasn't as bad as yesterday thank goodness. only thing is that today Sam was in a serious 'disturb husena' mood. he gets some kind of satisfaction in getting me annoyed it seems x) but then during bio prac, although i hate to admit this, Sam did the funniest thing:

(Sam comes up to my bench and taps my shoulder)

me: what?!

(Sam sticks a stopwatch in front of my face. anticipating another attempt to annoy me, i let out an angry hiss. Sam stop the stopwatch.)

Sam: three seconds! it took you exactly 3 seconds to get angry.

HAHAHA. school sucks but my classmates are hilarious. anyway, after school Maryam, Arina, Am & i went to watch Seven Pounds! i love Will Smith, but i guess the movie was kind of disappointing because it wasn't what i had expected. it wasn't really an intelligent thinking movie, but rather a 'remain-confused-until-the-end-when-suspense-is-revealed' kind of movie. even then, the 4 of us had pretty much figured it all out before it revealed what in the world Will Smith was doing.

ah anyway i'm not happy now. it seems we have to attend flag raising and take attendance tomorrow even if we aren't involved in open house. isn't that a waste of time? i haven't decided whether i'm going to give in to this stupidity yet. i probably might in the end, and mug a bit in a quiet spot in school. mugging at home is sometimes not so productive when i have the luxury of my bed. taking naps is like my favourite pastime see.

first day of school

2009-01-12T20:03:00.002+08:00

i remember just last week when Alef was whining about school starting, and i told her quite easily it's nothing to dread really! i've never dreaded the first day of school.

i guess i was wrong.

i dreaded this day like crazy. i drove mummy and daddy up the wall with my whining. and it didn't start off too well either when i got my timetable and i end at FIVE PM on mondays. and i have SERIOUS monday blues by the way, so having a long day on mondays AND on my first day of school resulted in a very very sore husena.

but then i have great classmates, especially the girls, so school won't be so bad i hope. like i said, i was sore, but my classmates are so hilarious sometimes it's hard to remain sore x) yen came back from taiwan recently, she had gone there with the basketball team, as well as new juniors. so she told us this story:

(yen's junior seems to be mumbling and singing something to herself on the bus.)

yen: hey, what are you doing??

her junior: oh, i'm playing Don't Forget The Lyrics with myself.

HAHAHA. and just like that i was feeling so much better already. but monday blues and the holiday mood was riding on my back throughout the day. the holidays were great, and i got to spend so much time with mummy especially. so in the middle of the day i sent an sms to mummy:

me: mummy i miss you :(

mummy: miss you too :)

and suddenly my mood was better again! mummy is the best =) but then i had 5 blocks (yes FIVE blocks) back to back after one measly 1 hour break. at the end of the day, work had accumulated like crazy already. so i just mentioned to sarah how we have so much work to complete now, and she was like yeahh. and after a while she was like, this sure doesn't feel like the first day of school!

and she's right. if the first day of school was so hectic, i can't imagine what's going to happen to me by the end of the year.

merry belated christmas

2009-01-08T10:15:00.008+08:00

so us minahs finally FINALLY met up for our annual Secret Santa meeting! (annual ah heehee) maryam insists that even 10 years from now we have to (drive and) meet up like with our army of kids even. yes yes i totally agree x) and so that's the 6 of us in the picture up there looking civil.

A for Amelina
M for Maryam
I for Izzah
N for Nurul
A for Arina
H for Husena

spelling AMINAH! hahaha cool right. but you see in reality we dont behave so civil:

right. the day started out quite funny because after i left the house and was crossing the zebra crossing (yes Am i can hear you say DUH it's a zebra CROSSING), this car honked at me. so i turned to glare at the driver see since it's a zebra crossing i have the right of way. but the man waved at me! and i couldn't figure out who it was. so i just walked off. but then as the car drove by me, the person honked at me again! and then waved again! and i still couldn't figure out who it was. so i got on the bus and told maryam about it and she asked for the car colour, so i was like blue. and then maryam was like OH must be Cikgu Mely! HAHA i'm such a loser.

anyway, so we met up with the rest of them at orchard and went to eat ayam penyet! first time for me la so i apologise in advance for my country bumpkin-ness. i find it so hilarious that it's called ayam penyet! and in the menu they translated it to SMASHED CHICKEN. so i ate smashed chicken for lunch x)

anyway, after that we went to Starbucks to exchange gifts, and my Secret Santa was none other than the gorgeous IZZAH!

and she knows me wayyy too well because guess what she got me? A VOODOO DOLL! just what i've wanted all my life x)

and it has the funniest things written on it x) click to enlarge and see! there're even "10 ready to stick pins" i quote x) but it's a pity i can't use it yet:

apparently i have to wait another 2 months! riiight. and then i gave my Secret Santee, Arina, her present, and it was a tiara! haha i hope you like it babe =)

anyway after that we went to take neoprints! i know right, so primary school x) but it was so much fun! and kind of stressful too coz they keep counting down and snapping pictures and only the numbers were in english, everything else was in jap x)

and now since we're all intelligent young women, we have decided that the next time we go out we shall do something intelligent, such as watching an intelligent movie. (i said intelligent 3 times!) let's hope we understand Seven Pounds when we go watch it x)

I LOVE A.M.I.N.A.H. life would be so dull without you guys.

one could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs

2009-01-04T14:40:00.003+08:00

so a few things have happened since i last blogged!

1. huierh's farewell bbq at munir's

that was one crazy night. rushed there from masjid (mosque) and huierh hadn't even reached! then she finally did come and all of us talked so much crap, but then again what do you expect when 09SO3B get together. i don't have any pictures because i didn't bring my camera x) maybe huierh/sarah/cheeyang might put some up on facebook one day. and i did have that new years' resolution to start being nice so a few people deserve an apology x)

- esther! sorry for bugging you about your height x)
- sarah! sorry for bugging you about something else x)
- bryden & jeryl & guangyu! sorry for being sarcastic.
- munir! okay actually no you owe me an apology because MY NOSE IS NOT OBSECENELY LONG.

okay now that that's settled, the night went on and became quite sad when everyone finally said goodbye to huierh. i was in a rush to make my curfew so i didn't really get to say bye to her properly. huierh is leaving on a 2am flight tonight to go to UK to study. but it's okay, being positive is the way to go. she will be coming back to visit during her holidays! and there's always skype =) but i cannot deny that i'll miss you so very much, huierh. class is going to be so different without you around. and we'd gotten especially close towards the end of the year, so this sucks even more. i really hate goodbyes. but this is not a goodbye, you will be back right? =) so it's more of a take care till i see you next dear! have a safe trip, study hard, join the wine-tasting club, learn to be a lifeguard, ace the A levels, and keep in contact!! i love you huierh =)

2. BHEN RETURNED FROM DUBAI!

this was on the same night as the bbq actually, so i was in a rush to leave the bbq because of this too =) and yes she's back!! and so many stories to share. the past 2 days my family has been spending most of our time sitting together listening to Bhen's stories about her trip, or Bhen listening to all the things we were doing and all the silly things we said and all the things she missed out on while she was gone. at least now she's here for 4 months! FOUR MONTHS! but then after that she'll go to dubai forever =( nevermind! i'll worry about that when the time comes x) in the meantime, i'm going to try and spend as much time as possible with her!

3. i finished reading A Thousand Splendid Suns!

like i said before, it's a gazillion time better than The Kite Runner. Khaled Hosseini really outdid himself this time. maybe i just liked it better because i am female. TKR was about Amir and Hassan, about two men stuck in circumstances through all the changes that happening in Afghanistan. ATSS, on the other hand, is about two women, Mariam and Laila. two very different women with two very different backgrounds, who suddenly find themselves stuck together as things began changing in Afghanistan, and the Taliban started oppressing women. and what started off as enemity between the two, grew into a friendship, and finally into such a strong bond, a bond that had no name for it. they helped each other through all the hardships they faced as women, because who is to help a woman if not a woman herself?

i guess i will always find a woman's pain sadder. but the oddest thing is that Khaled Hosseini is a man, why did he think of writing such a book? usually books about the hardships of oppressed women in different parts of the world are written by women themselves. and usually the women authors were the ones who were oppressed themselves. but anyway, there are a few quotes from the book i really liked:

"A man's heart is a wretched, wretched thing. It isn't like a mother's womb. It won't bleed. It won't stretch to make room for you."

"Boys, Laila came to see, treated friendship the way they treated the sun: its existence undisputed; its radiance best enjoyed, not beheld directly."

"Men are easy,' he said, fingers tapping on his mahogany desk. 'A man's plumbing is like his mind: simple, very few surprises. You ladies, on the other hand...well, God put a lot of thought into making you."

"One could not count the moons that shimmer on her roofs,or the thousand splendid suns that hide behind her walls."

and my personal favourite:

"Like a compass needle that points north, a man's accusing finger always finds a woman. Always."

as i grew older

2009-01-02T10:43:00.003+08:00

i'm so happy now because ALIFIYA ZAKIR IS LIKE THE NICEST GIRL ON EARTH. let me explain why.

1. she lent me A Thousand Splendid Suns!
2. she listens to my nonsense everyday!
3. we think alike!
4. we have the same taste in many things!
5. she hasn't shot me in the head!
6. I LOVE HER A LOT.

so i've started reading ATSS, and it's not like The Kite Runner, it's 41895609 times better! more about it when i'm done reading it. in the meantime, i found this lovely poem:

As I Grew Older

It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun -
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky -
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!

By: Langston Hughes

why do we grow so fast and then get consumed in our own shadows? we let the wall rise so high that we one day forget what the light of our dreams even looked like, felt like. and then we start feeling satisfied cowering in the darkness, believing that hey... it's better than nothing right?

happy new year - but hold it a sec

2008-12-31T10:07:00.002+08:00

that's the title of an article i read in The Straits Times today! i quote the article:

The world's official timekeepers have added a "leap second" to the last day of the year today, to help match clocks to the Earth's slowing spin on its axis, which takes place at ever-changing rates affected by tides and other factors.

Which means a countdown to 2009 will go something like this: "...THREE, TWO, ONE-AND-A-HALF, ONE... Happy New Year!"

The extra second was mandated by the International Earth Rotation and References Systems Service (IERS) in Paris, and is not to be taken lightly.

can you believe it?? i didn't even know an International Earth Rotation and References Systems Service existed! and i don't know why i find this so amusing, but it kind of is. okay anyway, since the year is coming to an end, it's time for a bit of reflection. 2008 has been a horrible year for me, and that's because i brought it upon myself. but next year, i'm going to sober up and make it the best year of my life. and to do that, i've decided on a few new year resolutions:

1. no more daydreaming during lectures and tutorials.
2. start being nicer.
3. ask more questions in class. no actually, start asking questions in class.
4. stop getting angry so easily. you would expect me to say control my temper, but that would mean actually getting angry first.
5. be patient.
6. grow up a bit.
7. stay fit.
8. spend more time with family.
9. whine less.
10. ACE THE A LEVELS.

and with that, 2009 will be a great year. friends please support me! especially with the being nicer bit. i've said that a hundred times before, but now i really mean it.

alright, happy new year my friends! hope the year goes great for all of you.

cancelled!

2008-12-24T10:25:00.001+08:00

okay my trip to mombasa has been officially cancelled. both my tickets and registration. it's okay, not in my naseeb. i'll try again next year. but i still can't help feeling really upset.

confirmation status

2008-12-23T11:06:00.003+08:00

i'm here blogging after checking my CONFIRMATION STATUS on the ejamaat website for the millionth time. and no, i still haven't gotten raza to attend the ashara in mombasa.

(for people who have no idea what i've been saying so far, let me try and help. raza means permission, ashara is this function i would like to attend, and mombasa is in kenya.)

i really really really want to go for the ashara, so i'm not going to give up hope yet, at least not until my mom and i have no choice and have to cancel our tickets this evening. i've been really excited (and a little scared) about this, and i don't want it to fizzle down into disappointment just yet. and even if i don't get it by this evening, it's okay, life's like that. maybe it's not in my naseeb, and i'll try again next year. but for now, i'll still continue checking my status, hopefully it will show 'Confirm Print Raza Letter' soon.

(naseeb means fate)

anyway, on a lighter note, maryam and i went jogging again, and then this time we went to the jetty to sit around. haha i realise today had been the first time i'd even seen the jetty, the last time i jogged by that area it was still under construction x) anyway the point of me telling you guys this is because i would like to show everyone how lame PUB is. this was what i saw as i walked towards the jetty:

HAHA. come on seriously?!

it happens for the best

2008-12-21T17:11:00.002+08:00

i think that life can be pretty unfair. i guess i whine about it sometimes, but then again, who doesn't? but at least i know i'm not the type to sit and complain and admit defeat. sometimes when life is unfair, i choose to believe that maybe something else is in store for me, something better. so there's nothing for me to bury my head in my hands and cry about. what has happened, has happened. nothing's going to change the past. if there's something i have even a little bit of control over, it's my future. and there's no way in hell i'm gonna let past failures and unfairness screw it up.

because whatever happens, it happens for the best.

where is the love?

2008-12-20T15:24:00.000+08:00

i can't stand the way the world works sometimes.

why differentiate? integrate!

2008-12-19T11:15:00.002+08:00

i have another 40 questions to go and i'm super exhausted with this stupid maths marathon. and i especially hate that this topic keeps reminding me of pw: why differentiate? integrate!

yes indeed.

run like the wind

2008-12-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

and so i went jogging at the reservoir this morning with maryam =)but what i dont understand is how she can still look so pretty even though we had just jogged and were all sweaty and stuff! and i realise i havent seen her in a century, so more time was spent talking than jogging really, but we attempted! so must give us some credit okay. the reservoir is a much nicer place to jog than around my estate x) the air there is so nice and cold! the air here is so polluted haha i should go to the reservoir more often! yeah and met a bunch of juniors too haha my juniors are so hardworking, i'm embarrassed x)

speaking about hardworking, let's see, i have 73 more sums to do by monday.

oh crap.

when the girls came out to play, georgie peorgie ran away!

2008-12-17T12:16:00.000+08:00

and so a few of my favouritest girls came over yesterday to bake and waste time and immerse themselves in the indian culture x) and i was super happy coz we like haven't met in a century thanks to the holidays haha. so it was good catching up as well =) so sarah came over first and i have to say that sarah i'm super proud of you for using your hand to eat the chapatti and rice HAHA. aloo gobi (which os missed out on coz she's so busy working and didn't know how to fake diarrhea too well) and chicken curry was made, taking inspiration from bend it like beckham x)

and then hannah came, and sarah and hannah watched 'hum tum' (a hindi movie!) and enjoyed themselves thoroughly right?? hahaha coz the laughter still echoes x) now who says hindi movies are no fun!

then yen finally came over and the baking began x) i dont have that many photos, so you have to make do with what i have haha. most of the photos are with sarah, but she went to m'sia (AGAIN) so you have to wait till she gets back for more x)

and those are our unbaked cookies! now if you look closer...

we dedicated one of them to a teacher whom we will not name x) because it's obvious enough hello!

and so we put the cookies in for baking and guess what happens!

yes, we burnt them horribly x)

then huierh came! and she brought lovely pineapple tarts she'd made by herself =)

then we continued baking (carefully this time) and the rest of the batches came out okay =) and that's our baked teacher x)

okay anyway now i'm too lazy to upload the rest of the pictures here x) i'll just upload them on facebook maybe. so people like maryam/am, get a facebook account!! x)

and so anyway, i hope you guys liked the aloo gobi and curry and stuff haha and i hope you guys had fun! we must do this more often man =)

in other news, I'VE FINALLY BOUGHT MY SECRET SANTA PRESENT YAYZZZ. hope you like it when you get it secret santee x)

maths makes me mad

2008-12-11T12:13:00.000+08:00

god do i hate maclaurin for making that stupid theorem. although i should actually be thankful coz it's quite simple and so that means easy marks in the exams, but seriously, did he have to make it so goddamn tedious! and so from my rants you can figure that another maths tuition session ended for me a while ago. and although i think my tuition teacher is extremely scary and i hate how he makes me feel stupid, i have to reluctantly, VERY reluctantly, admit that he is a really good teacher. my maths has improved leaps and bounds since i started maths tuition.

so anyway, he was complaining that he doesn't have many students now coz many of his students just had their A levels, so if anyone's interested in maths tuition call Mr Navin at 91777461! hahaha knock yourselves out. i'm such a wonderful student arent i x)

okay so tasneem tagged me to do this quiz thing on her blog, and so i shall try it out now!

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

(okay let me just say the rule is so amusing haha replace questions!)

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continuing this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?
yeah.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl older than you?

yeah.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?

okay i believe in love, but i don't believe there's only one person in the world who's made for me and is waiting for me so we can have our happily ever after and all that crap.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

everything in the world man.

5. Would you fall in love with your best friend?

i might.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
being loved by someone.

7. How do you define love?
when you smile to yourself for no reason, get that tingly feeling in your stomach, and all that jazz.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

send him that song "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne! HAHA.

9. What makes you happy?

many little little things, i like it when it rains, i like it when mariya smiles at me, i like it when people send me nice emails, i like lots of things!

10. What makes you sad?

the news.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?

married with at least one kid, a good job, lots of friends, and all that jazz.

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?

family and friends.

13. What is the most important thing in your life?

my sanity.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

married but poor.

15. What is your favourite colour?

GREEN. if it isn't already obvious enough x)

16. If you fall in love with two people simulateneously, and both do the same, who would you pick?

do the same what? oh god this question is so horribly wrong in so many ways x)

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing someone has done?

i think i forgive easily, but i hardly ever forget.

18. What would you tell someone you like?

that uh i like you?

19. If there is a choice between love and friendship, which will you choose?

that's the whole point, there is no choice.

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?

there is love, and it's up to you to make it true.

3 people who're going to do this survey.

stacey
sarah
hannah

which reminds me, stace is going to israel tomorowww. life's gonna be quite boring for a while then x) but at least sarah's back from malaysia! haha isn't it cool how my entire quiz looks quite like a christmas tree? x) all's good what considering christmas is around the corner. season's greetings everyone! but christmas decoration on orchard this year is quite sad =( actually i wanted to take photos of the decoration with stace but they were so sad and pathetic i changed my mind. last year's decoration was 98365298 times better! maybe they're cutting cost coz of recession and all HAHA.

which reminds me! sure i'd planned what to give my Secret Santee a long time ago, but i never got down to buying it! must must do it soon. better write this down somewhere x) alrighty off i go, have to go do some chem and make qadirbhai proud!

thank you

2008-12-10T12:15:00.001+08:00

for being the nicestest cousin in the world, qadirbhai.

it's eid!

2008-12-07T15:52:00.000+08:00

BAKRA

EID

MUBARAK

EVERYONE!

thank you os for saying bakra eid mubarak, i was hoping someone would say that to me hahaha it's hilarious x)

oh oh bakra eid also means eid-ul-adha and also means hari raya haji for the malays. eid mubarak eid mubarak! oh my calender's one day earlier than the malays that's why we're celebrating today x) so selamat hari raya haji in advance my dear malay friends!

okaythanksbye.

A WEDNESDAY

2008-11-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

watch it. i'm not gonna say anything more coz really nothing more needs to be said. besides, if you don't watch it, your loss.

wild child

2008-11-29T08:29:00.000+08:00

yesterday i finally went out with STACEY GOH MING HUI to celebrate her birthday (which was on 9th november by the way, the wonders of procrastination). but anyway, it's not my fault! it's stacey's fault for being so busy see:

x) so anyway we went to watch wild child haha which wasn't that good actually. and the rest of the time was spent either eating or drinking or talking or walking haha. oh oh and i also found out that stacey is actually a magician. i even took photos of one of her tricks x)

now you see her,

now you don't!

hahaha okay i'm so lame. but anyway stacey we ought to go out more often man x) haha it was so much fun!

so here's wishing you a happy belated birthday! and i hope you like your present and i hope you had a good time =) i love you stace!

oh oh oh Secret Santa update: i've decided what to give her! and all credit for the wonderful idea goes to staceyyy =) now all i need to do is figure out where to get it!

the future's not ours to see

2008-11-28T09:28:00.000+08:00

so arefaben (whom i will now address as 'bhen', which means elder sister, for the rest of my post) left for dubai last night. sure she'll be back, but then she'll leave for real in april again. and i can't imagine what might be going through her head. leaving everything behind for a completely new place. new country, new house, new faces, even new hairdresser and optician. all i know is that she's gonna leave me to start her new life there and i can't even begin to describe how sad i am.

and if i've lived with her for 17 years, out of which 4-5 years i don't even remember, and i'm feeling like this, i really don't know how my parents are feeling. they'd lived with her for 22 whole years, and they remember every single one of those years.

bhen if you're reading this, i didn't cry at the airport because i didn't wanna make you cry. i comforted myself with the fact that you're coming back. but i don't think i'll be able to control my tears in april. bhen, i will miss you very very much. heck, forget will, i already miss you so much. i pray that you'll have all the happiness you want and need in your new house. and no matter what, i'll always be there for you. i know you still see me as your little sister, not grown up enough. but i hope that'll change one day and i'll be grown up enough for you to confide in me when you need to. i don't think i say this often enough bhen, but i love you, fiercely and very very much.

and if you're reading this jiju (which means brother-in-law), take good care of bhen k! she may seem all strong and independent, but i know she's a bit scared. so take care of her k!

sometimes i worry too. and i bet i'm not the only one. many girls worry abt this too. right? coz i'd probably get married one day too, and i'd possibly have to leave s'pore, my life, my parents, alef, my friends, my house. and i'd most definitely have to give up my surname. what will my life be like? will i have to change my lifestyle? eat some different kind of food? dress differently? will i get to work? it scares me sometimes, thinking about all this.

someone told me a long time ago that i worry too much and i should just learn to relax. and so i decided to live life for the moment, worry when the time comes. but after bhen got married, the teasing began. people telling me how i'm next in line and asking me whether i want a guy from london or america or dubai or india or australia or timbuktu. and then without my wanting it, the worrying began again. but then this song helped:

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

there is some truth in that. whatever will be, will be. i just need to relax again, take it one step at a time. and then maybe the future won't be as scary as i make it out to be.

for you, a thousand times over

2008-11-26T11:32:00.000+08:00

i hadn't read a good book in a long time, not since i read The Alchemist, until i read The Kite Runner. someone recommended it to me a long time ago, but i never got down to reading it. now that i have, i must say that it hasn't disappointed me at all. and it's not those kinda 'good books' that really piss you off because you have to read it with a dictionary next to you. TKR uses vocabulary and sentence structures that are so easy even primary school children could read it. but it's still so wonderful because the author weaves this simple language into such a nice read, i don't think anything i say will do it enough justice.

for instance, i'm a rather impatient person, and thus reader, so i tend to skip descriptions when i read novels so that i can get on with the story. but with TKR, i found myself reading every single word in the book, savouring it. the author describes the scenes so vividly i could imagine the scene unfolding in my head. and another thing about this book is that everytime you think things have settled down, you flip the page and suddenly something completely unexpected has happened! and then you're sitting on the edge of your seat once again, your head buried in the book, unable to put it down.

the book basically revolves around the life of a boy named Amir, his relationships, his fears, his betrayal and his redemption.

i hear there was a movie made based on this novel. i've never liked movies made based on novels. they rob you of your imagination really. right now, after reading the book, i have imagined Amir's house in Kabul in my head, imagined Amir, Hassan, Baba and all the other characters, and watching the movie might just spoil what i'd imagined.

like the time i watched Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. After reading the book, i had imagined the Oompa Loompas in my head, and the Oompa Loompas in the movie didn't even come close to what i had imagined. it was disappointing because after a while, i had forgotten the Oompa Loompas i had imagined earlier, and now only those ugly dwarves in the movie pop up in my head when anyone talks about Oompa Loompas. you know what i mean? and ironically, it was the Oompa Loompas who sang this about television:

It rots the senses in the head!
It kills imagination dead!
It clogs and clutters up the mind!
It makes a child so dull and blind
He can no longer understand
A fantasy, a fairyland!

okay i know you must be thinking Oompa Loompas? what a rotten example. but oh well x) just trying to bring a point across!

but anyway, i still love The Catcher in the Rye more than any other book in the world. and now i really really want to read A Thousand Splendid Suns! does anyone have it??

and now moving away completely from books and stuff, i've just realised that the Secret Santa thing is so difficult! i have no idea what to get her =( how now brown cow?

not that i'm racist or anything haha so you can give me suggestions even if you're not brown. or not a cow.

actually on second thought i'd prefer it if you weren't a cow. i don't think i'd like advice from a cow.

and all this talk abt Secret Santa reminds me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

IZZAH ABDULLAH!

i love you!

i'll be alright =)

2008-11-24T11:19:00.000+08:00

hello all! i watched Dostana some time ago, and no matter what people say, i loved it. i never stopped laughing throughout the entire movie. it is true that the movie was portraying gays in the wrong light, but come on, just take it lightly and the movie will be a joy. there was only one thing i really didnt like abt the movie, and that was how they made fun of abhishek's mom's pain when she found out her son is gay. i dont think a mother's pain is something funny. but then again, i have to admit that i even laughed during those parts because the actors really left you with no choice. anyway, there's this song on friendship from the movie which i really like and would like to dedicate to the nicest friend anyone could ask for, OS AGARWAL!

Jaane Kyun

I’ll be alright
I’ll be alright

Tu hai toh tedhi medhi rahein
Ulti pulti baatein
Seedhi lagti hai

Tu hai toh jhoothe muthe vaadein
Dushman ke iraade
Sacche lagtein hain

Jo dil mein taare vaare de jaga
Woh tu hi hai, tu hi hai

Jo roote roote de hasa
Tu hi hai wohi

Jaane kyun dil jaanta hai
Tu hai toh
I’ll be alright

Saari duniya ek taraf hai
Ek taraf hai hum

Har khushi to door bhage
Mil rahein hai gum

But when you smile for me
World seems alright

Yeh meri zindagi
Pal mein khil jaaye
Jaane kyun

Jaane kyun dil jaanta hai
Tu hai toh
I’ll be alright

[Yeah yeah yeah
I'll be alright
I'll be alright ]2x

O
Chote chote kuch palon ka
Dostana yeah
Jaane kyun abb lag raha hai
Jaana maana yeah
Cos when you smile for me
World seems alright
Yeh saare pal yehi
Yuhi tham se jaaye

Jaane kyun

Jaane kyun dil jaanta hai
Tu hai toh
I’ll be alright

Tu hai toh tedhi medhi rahein
Ulti pulti baatein
Seedhi lagti hai

Tu hai toh jhoothe muthe vaadein
Dushman ke iraade
Sacche lagtein hain

Jo dil mein taare vaare de jaga
Woh tu hi hai, tu hi hai

Jo roote roote de hasa
Tu hi hai wohi

Jaane kyun dil jaanta hai
Tu hai toh
I’ll be alright

Movie: Dostana
Singer: Vishal

for someone who isn't in my class or any other group with me (other than rmep but that doesn't count haha) and so who is in no way obliged to be anywhere around me, i'm touched that you still choose to be, Os =) and even though you laugh at my chem answers, my empty blog and my other misfortunes, you're still always there for me =) i hope i have been for you as well and hope i will continue to be. and just like ida and tania from the amazing race asia say: friendship is not about accepting someone despite her weaknesses and shortcomings, but because of their weaknesses and shortcomings. I LOVE YOU OS!

omg i think we sound totally lesbian, considering that Dostana was a movie about gays and all hehe. but not to worry loved ones of mine and Os'! we are not ever gonna point at each other and say: hum lesbian hai! yeh meri girlfriend hai!

coz BOY oh BOY are we straight x)

and so i started a blog

2008-11-23T14:19:00.000+08:00

hello! okay so i've started a blog quite obviously. tag and say hi!
i'll update when life gets more exciting x) or should i say if? hmm.

p.s. I LOVE YOU DADDY.
and alef you should totally start a blog it's fun.